Judge, 1931-05-30 · page 6 of 36
Judge — May 30, 1931 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# "The Police Broadcaster" - Judge Magazine Satire This page satirizes early radio broadcasting and police communications. The main cartoon depicts a police radio broadcaster engaged in an absurdly rambling, jokey broadcast about crime prevention—complete with recipe instructions for a "Hell's Kitchen" drink and casual banter about stock tips and robberies. The joke targets the novelty of police radio stations (apparently a new phenomenon when this was published) and suggests their broadcasts are unprofessional, mixing actual police work with entertainment and self-promotion. The inset cartoon shows "electric reducing" services, likely satirizing another contemporary business fad. The satire implies these new institutional radio broadcasts—meant to serve the public—have become vehicles for frivolous content and self-interested promotion rather than serious public service.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
THE POLICE BROADCASTER 00D MORNING, boys! .. . This is Station PHQ at Police Headquarters, broadcasting our regular emergency bulletins of hold-ups, stick-ups, lost: jewelry and... Ha-ha-ha! Eddie says we're the only radio sta- tion operating exclusively on a crime wave! ... Ha-ha-ha! Well, boys, we've a little surprise for t this time. Something I know you've been waiting for and expecting and... Hello, George! Boys, George just came into the studio! How about a little song, Georgie? Later on? Okay! ... Well, folks, before I tell you the little sur prise, I’m going to let you in on another secret. How many of you... really now, I've a message of vital in- terest for all of you... . How many of you boys would like to invest thirty or forty thousand dollars in some- thing that will make you rich some d Well, one of our captains just got a tip from a broker, and I’m going to pass it along to you. Why not take a few of those s you've tucked away and buy some shares of .. . "s that, Pete? ... H 1 wish you » Pete! He's been havin nap her woke up... . Ha-ha 1, as I was saying, why not go right out and buy some... . But wait a min- ute! ... Before I tell you that, I want to ask you some- How many of you... and I'm talking to ser- yeants and captains and lieutenants as well as patrolmen ... how many of you know how to mix a Hell’s Kitchen silver frappé? Really, it's simply delicious! Would you like me to give you the recipe? All right! Got your pencils ready? All rightie! Squeeze one lemon. . one, remember! ... Then add, slowly. . a I wish... . Ha-ha-ha!... 1 wish you could see Captain thing ust Griewiecz! He's standing here going through the motions LECTRIG REDUCING Fj JUDGE To Prospretive TeNant about th room 5,914 would be of mixing a frappé, and it certainly is... Ha-ha-ha funny! Where was I now? ... Well, it doesn’t matter Just put in anything else and shake it up! Up, 1 said ... This is one thing that re not supposed to shake down! ... Ha-ha-ha!... Well, shall I tell you about th: little surprise now? ... It’s something the commissionc is very much interested in having you know. And, boys. I want to tell you right here that you've all got a friend. a real friend, in the commissioner! Yes, suh! And | think it would be nice if we'd all stand up now and giv: him a salute. Everybody face your loud speakers and salute. Now, altogether! Repeat it with me, slowly: ‘Three cheers... for... the... commissioner!’ . . . That's fine! ... And now I'm going to tell you about that surprise! I'm sure it's something you'll want to write down, so get your notebooks out again and... Ha-ha-ha! sors Thats od one, Lieutenant! Mind if I tell it to the boys? ... Listen, boys, the Lieutenant just told a good one! He says he went into a Forty-seventh Street speakeasy last night and said to the proprietor: ‘Gus. ¥ it thousand men to the force and a lot of things are x to be un different from now on, Do you know what I mean?’ And Gus said: ‘Sure, Lieuten ant, I'll have to put longer bar! Ha-ha-ha!... Well, here's the surprise I have for you: There’s just been a million-dollar robbe: Sixth Avenue. Nine people shot, three safes dynamited and half a dozen peo ple kidnaped !" —Cuet Jouxsox over in comicbooks.com