Judge — May 23, 1931 — page 29: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

WIGH LAF (Continued from page 25) est number after his name is the least | epular person present. (It usua turns out to be the life of the part When he goes home, sore, the proceed- ings can go on, using other lists made up of either mutual acquaintances, presidents, kings, movie actors, ac- tresses, dramatic critics, ete. lly You’re in the Army Now [' 00 ate fleeing from the sheriff or dodging the irate papa of winsome choir lassie who is. trailing you with the w. k. shotgun or even irving to grow a beard, please get the idea out of your head that the U. S. Army will open up hospitable arms and offer you a means to forget it all. During the past two years the root- in’-tootin’-reeruitin’ boys have been swamped under an avalanche of Judges, Bank Presidents, Brokers and an old Mayor or two and now that they have had a chance to get their breath, they have clamped down on would-be erals sumpin’ awful. Besides, the peace-time army is limited in size. Whereas in’ Granpa's time they came after you with bayonets, a press Doll ind a suit of Union blues now even if you are good, they won't have you.” The future Foch in these hard times has to come armed with a letter of introduction from his Sund her, then pass a Verbal Vocabul. After the has cleared 4 e finds himself ‘mid nuddings on in a long, cold room and a number painted in iodine on his manly chest. Having heen duly checked for spavin, flat feet, morning mouth, housemaids’ yen and other passing fancies of the visi ing M. O., he is stacked up against a Minimum Mental Test. If he is found to be positive, then the rest of the four years is his, including the kit bag and the horse blanket. It's a great life if you don’t ken and care for plenty of bunk fatigue in a large way. They tell me some of the posts have Tom Thumb Courses and of course if you put in a hitch over near the Philippines, you can al- ways learn to open a tin of pineapple. College boys with a filibuster-fixation, and high-school grads who like to tinker are crazee for the Air Service, they say. Fair enough—but we arc from the South, suh, and the idea of parading in shoes every day doesn’t appeal one bit So after thinking the whole thing over, I think I'll take a chance on the Western Union while Mae, the sly old some gang, sm Beau Sabreur, is off to join the For- | cign Legion to see Marlene Dictrich through a porthole. —Jvpoce, Ir. BROWN LEDGE CAMP An exclusive, splendidly equipped, and nationally known vacation place for girls. At Brown Ledge every horses owned canoeing. aquapla motor-boating trips—all under the guidance of the extra ¢ for laundry nearby club for parents, TRUST. ed by the c: QoRse, % For booklet write: Harry E. J. Brown, Director Hamilton Grange School nest c¢ On Mallett’s Bay Near Burlington, Vermont (July and August) girl rides every day under expert instruction on beautiful s inselors, One tuition covers all! t-even for golf greens’ fees nor ered n wonderful food ; \ CAMP YOU CAN <Hais <pApt Aquaploring” Riverside Drive at 147th St., New York City NEWs OCEAN + HOUSE | MASSACHUSETTS On THE SWAMPSCOTT * RECTLY The North Shore's foremost resort hotel. Ideal seaside and country environment ... . health-giving, salt sea breezes. Every recreatioi feature golf... private bathing beach. Easily accessible to all historical poiots. Booklet. % CLEMENT FE. KENNEDY President. Winter Resort—Vinoy Park Hotel ‘St. Petersburg, Florida JUDGE have made this magazine one of the few carrying more odvertising this yeor than last. thanks the advertisers who ' A GOOD MIXER Use Abbott's Bitters To Flavor Beverages SOc Sample for 2S¢ in Stamps Address Abbott's Bitters, Baltimore, Md. ONE DROP ON ORNS PAIN EASES INSTANTLY CORNS COME OFF NE drop of this amazing liquid and soon any corn or callus shrivels up and loosens. Peel it off with your fingers The General Motors Bldg. + + is but five short blocks removed from The Abington... Detroit's finest and most modern uptown hotel. 350 units... many as * low as $3 perday...allwith tub and shower. Food and service nonpareil and reasonable too. bington at 700 gis THE TWENTIETH CENTURY ENCYCLOPEDIA A procticol Encyclopedia ot a minimum cost. Complete ormation fu request without o THE WORLD LIBRARY GUILD 120 Boylston Street, Beste, Mass. 1440 Breadway, New York, N.Y. like dead skin. Don’t risk dangerous ing. Removes the whole corn. Acts instantly, like a local anaesthetic, to stop pain while it works. Doctors approve it. Satisfaction guaranteed. Works alike on any corn or callus—old or new, hard or soft. 6“ 99 = World’s GETS-IT” enc, comicbooks.com