Judge — May 23, 1931 — page 12: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

His Own Idea HEN there was the Scot whose wife wanted to lose weight—so he kept her worried. A friend of ours discov- ered that a vacuum cleaner would remove fleas from his dog. That was a month ago. He still has the sue- tion turned on while he's ng to figure out what with a bag full of And this is a funny country. You go to jail if you import any liquor from Cuba and yet they let all that Cuban music in, And about all that is necessary for a divorce in this day is a hus- band. “Oh, Pop—ill you make me a boat?” Another Triumph for Gangdom TT! gsters arc up in the Cats- kills, ters are down in the town, The newspaper photos, the tabloids and rotos All add to the g...gsters’ renown. The gunmen appear in the drama, In practically all magazines, And lately the gangsters, Capone biff- and-bangsters Have captured the cinema sercens. They drove out the French Foreign Legion, They ended the Talkie Revues; Instead of romances the audience glances At bathos that’s dripping with boo: Wherever you shop for a movie, Wherever a picture ap " From here to Canopus likely the opus Is written around racketeers. We fans in indignant rebellion For action are clearing the decks. Oh, where are the Swansons, the Afri- an Johnsons, And ihatever happened to Sex? Let's battle for old-fashioned movies That didn’t have racketeer plots, And drive all the shooters, gorillas and looters Out of the Hollywood lots! “Who the heck closed this vault? I've got my lunch in it.” —Artucer L, Lippaann 10 comicbooks.com