Judge, 1931-04-04 · page 13 of 36
Judge — April 4, 1931 — page 13: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Explanation for Modern Readers This page satirizes academic professors through character sketches. "The Regular Fellow" affects casualness (golf trousers, swearing) to seem relatable but actually seeks no genuine respect. "The Young Professor" hides youthful insecurity behind academic affectations—double lenses and scientific magazines—while secretly fearing students will discover his inexperience. "The Radical" spent time in Russia and now hates everything systematically except himself, a jab at ideological purists. "The Wiry Professor" is uptight and emotionally guarded. The cartoons mock professorial pretense and affectation. The top illustration plays on cigarette advertising ("How do you like the new wrappers on Camels?"), suggesting professors are commodities. The "All the Comforts" section satirizes modern luxury ships and New York street violence—noting one can't distinguish between communist revolt, hockey brawls, or ordinary arguments. The closing joke about birds arriving early for "tree-sitting season" appears to reference some contemporary fad or practice now unclear.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Professors I Have Known Tue Reevran Frerow HE Seats golf trousers And ribbed stockings. When he meets William ; He says, “Hullo, Bil And swears occasionally ‘To show them he is one of them. He doesn't want respect. (And he doesn’t get it.) When you go to see him, You find him with his Mental feet on the table! Tue Younc Prorrssor H & stoops a little as he walks, Feeling the weight of his key. He hides his youth Behind double lenses And a scientific magazine. He is very cold and smooth, Thue Rapican A speciinen preserved in acid. Siena . a i H° spent one winter in Russia There are little worry wrinkles be- And tween his eyes. He sings He is afraid that some day someone fe hates his class (the size of it). ame back a radical. will He hates his salary (the lack of it). Think he is a student. He hates the accepted order of things: (He only gr: He hates faculty meetings and fs Because he teaches evolution ulty teas, Some people do not think he is re- He hates the present system of gov- i ernment, But every night he prays: He hates other professors who aren't “Oh, Lord! Help me to remember adical, the digni Of my positic He hates everything— Except himself. “Now, are ya goin’ to talk or must we get rough?” 1 long, long hymn of hate. “How do you like the new wrappers on Camels?” Tir Winy Proressor I {" is ve And ¢: His posture is excelent. He wears ground-grippers, And rubbers when it rains. thin, ries raisins in his pocket. He enunciates distinctly And clips off his words: snip, snip, With invisible shears. He has b his how And a barbed-wire fence Around his mind, —Sana Van Austyxe ALLEN 1 wooden “fence around All the Comforts A new liner has a toy golf course,.a night club and apartments instead of staterooms. All it lacks to ma sengers feel com- plete! of fellows to hurl garbage cans around at + a.m. t home is a couple And a vet and his bonus are svon parted, When you sce a fight in New York now you can't tell whether it's a Red re- volt, a hockey game or just an argument. The only thing you can be sure of is that no professional heavyweights are con- cerned in it. And the birds came North much earlier this year. They wanted to get the best places before the tree-sitting season starts.