Judge, 1931-03-28 · page 9 of 36
Judge — March 28, 1931 — page 9: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Judge Magazine Satire: Prohibition-Era Corruption This page satirizes 1920s organized crime and judicial corruption during Prohibition. The "Gangster Activities" section uses mock-serious reporting on Brooklyn mob violence—murders disguised as euphemisms ("pineapples" for bombs, witnesses "pushed off" docks)—to mock both gangster brutality and police indifference. The main cartoon shows a horse-rental shop where someone needs "a good long one. Nine o' us is goin'"—dark humor about gang executions or violence requiring multiple conspirators. "The Situation in New York" recounts real scandals: Judge Crater's disappearance, "Legs" Diamond's involvement in organized crime, and widespread police corruption (bank deposits from bribes). It satirizes the system's failure—investigations collapse, magistrates resign rather than prosecute, and even new investigators get indicted. Mayor Jimmy Walker's retreat to California caps the absurdist portrait of civic breakdown under Prohibition. The satire's point: law enforcement and judiciary are wholly compromised by organized crime.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Gangster Activities Te Zimpitito mob of Brooklyn an- nounce that they are starting their spring planting early this year. The first crop of pineapples will be plant- ed along the north side of Fifth Street some time this week. Frankie Spinoochi, well-known Broadway night club owner, has _re- turned from Chicago with his widow. The Yettiendo gang of Brooklyn staged a blow-out in the speakeasy owned by Gus Billattigi recently. Gus was blown through the rear wall. Joe the Greek, gambling house magnate of the upper East Side, has purchased the house with the bay win- dow fronting on Madison Avenue and the cop with the bay window fronting on 296th Street. The Mazzazzira mob were at the Mid-West S. S. docks last evening to see that several important vice wit- nesses were pushed off. A squad led by Police Licutenant Mickswiggle raided the speakeasy owned by Police Sergeant Tom Wuz- zle in Fifty-ninth Street last evening. The Ace High Night Club, which succeeded in having a prohibition pad- lock removed, has been closed by the mob from the Deucespot Club. Manager Joe Murzoozi is planning to strengthen his hurling staff for the coming season. “Big Mike” Devilgli, head bouncer, will do most of the throwing for Joe’s Third Avenue speakeasy. —Dana L, Cote “So you want to rent a horse, son. Any certain kind?” yp “Yeah—a good long one. Nine o’ us is goin’! The Situation in New York Jere Crater disappeared, and several gamblers were wounded in a night club. This led to a special investi- } gation, and policemen’s bank-books were examined, some | of them showing substantial deposits. This phase of the matter was dropped, however, when it could not be proved that any of this was loancd by Arnold Rothstein. “Legs” Diamond was held as a material witness, which caused several magistrates to become ill and resign. The Magistrates then withdrew th money from the Bank of United States, starting a ru che bank and causing it to | close its doors. The bank ‘iats charged the whole thing | Wasa frame-up, and denied that they ever used stool-pigeons totrap women. The lines formed by those waiting to testify about something or other became almost as long as the bread- lines. Then came the drought, and the district leaders re- fused to waive immunity. The newspapers rehashed all the old murder mysteries, but this seemed to offer no solution. So another investigator was appointed and subsequently in- dicted himself for something or other. Mulrooney said the police should use their nightsticks, and Mayor Walker went } to California. —R. C. O'Brien “Hey—hy don’tcha look where you're goin’!” ; comicbooks.com