Judge — March 21, 1931 — page 22: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

The First Robin? Bah-h-h Ts past one foretold the approach of Spring by the freshly painted efflorescence on the Bock Beer signs, or the bell of the geranium-man atop his clattering cart, or a lonely orphan patch of green in Washington Square, or fishermen dangling from barges in Harlem's mud flats, or a jittery robin with the sniffles stuck in the mud in Central Park. Toodle-o0-00 to all that! Now one must consult one of those -pound, inky-smellir azines or capture an eyeful of the windows of smart shops to know whether or not it's time to ditch the woollies and put up a gardenia in the lapel. Feminine speakeasy conversa- tion, too, never having much to do with crocuses, now consists of drink- ing toasts to the new printy things they'll all be wearing soon, my deah. But the surest sign is, if you see a tear-stained young lady leaving a church (“in dull suéde, white satin ‘ashion mag- Youle “Te SMELEST SGN oF SPRINT hE Sez!” pumps, nude stockings, a flared train, bodice and skirt joined at the waist- line, with the new tied-in front belt’’), she’s a Spring bride and a sure sign of the season. I won't attempt to tell you what the Spring woman will wear; it takes whole magazines to do that, and I'm not the type. And I'm not beefing about the aforesaid changes, eyether. For I find it’s much more fun to throw the arms around a strange young lady on Fifth Ave- nuc and say that her lit- tle suit (“of flared ruffles, brief jacket, and peplum frill whe re the flare meets the yoke of the skirt”) is the swellest sign of Spring I've ever seen—much more fun than pointing at a robin « Ah! there, breast, are you hiding Spring in one of your pockets?” Furthermore, when one drops into Her penthouse apartment, with its fake f blooming tulips, one knows thrill the better for snuggling Her afternoon gown (“flounce on flou gathe a at the wrist, and with a scarf meckl lis dear!) than grabbing a tulip in one’s fingers and bending the nose to its wet freshness. And mad March winds thrill me more when they blow, playfully, the frocks of the printed cotton and fresh- en my short-skirt | memories — than these same winds when they bend tree limbs at Spring's stiff awakening! In y-goody-bye to. those lays when a gal discarded a petticoat in March, two in April and three in June, which left her wearing only a scant six in summer. Them there days there was no outward change except, perhaps, a straw sailor perched high on rats and held in place with miniature rapiers. In 20 nd sayi close to sleeves "—whoops, my old Spring ¢ other words, the days when the whistled thru get by a latel Ah, whimse A MAN says he had only made How fast would he have to go to finish his second mile in tir and introduced Parlia.nent for passage. It was framed to put a stop to a man marrying his widow's sister in cases where the sis- ter was a year or more younger than the age of consent. The to pass. ¥ Whe eg na HRoNAOME ¥ SHES wind woman's hair. —I wonder if I could hung Bock Beer sign? me, whimse: y me! And 3 Eye-Queues has four brothers and every one of them has a sis ter. How many children are there in the famil A man was driving an automobile tended to cover two miles at an rate of 30 m.p.h. Unfortu y he was delayed by traffic so at the end of the first mile he the rate of 15 m.p.h Recently there was a bill drawn up into. the Canadian bill failed Why? In the first of last week's probers. it «ould take the two runners exactly comicbooks.com