Judge — February 21, 1931 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE 9, A player is said to be vulnerable if he pays any attention to the ex- planation of how the dummy would have played the hand if she'd gotten the bid. If the dummy says: ‘That reminds me of a hand I held last fuesday at Frannie Frear's,” she’s a double dummy. 10. The score is put down, tem- porarily, after each hand by the play- cr nearest the pad and pencil. After the figures are put down: a. The score pad is hidden under a pillow. b. The player at the left of the scorer scowls at his partner and says: “Are we playing for money or matches? c. The player opposite the scorer hunts for the score pad and, finding it, erases the last figures and puts higher ones in their place. d. The player at the right of the scorer asks for a separate sheet of paper and a separate pencil so she can keep a separate score all by her- self. 11. The dummy is not allowed to touch the cards but may tell the other players about her trip to the West Indies during the play. 12. Drinks should be served after the third rubber. Following which a derby hat is brought in and placed 7 feet from a couch. The player get- ting the most number of cards in the hat is accused of having played it be- Soro Pior—Daregone! Now I bet I don't get my license! fore and the fifth man and three play- ers go home. The hostess then puts away: a. The table; b. the cards; ec. the glasses; d. the ash trays; e. the chairs; f. the lamps; g. the cush- ions; h. the derby hat. First Aid Doctor —Great Heavens! Who stuffed that towel in the patient's mouth? Patient’s Husband —I did, Doc. You said the main thing was to keep her quiet. Everything has a purpose: The Wickersham report gave humorists material for new quips; and derby hats show which way the wind blows. And no matter how crowded two people are in a kitchenette apartment, there always seems to be room for arguments. “Eddie, I just dreamed we had a big juicy steak!!” Physiologists are testing German “Was it smothered in onions?” beer to see if it produces ennui. We “Yeah!!" say it isn't the beer that does it. It’s “Pshaw! I don’t like onions!!" the tourists who talk about it. comicbooks.com