Judge, 1931-02-21 · page 10 of 36
Judge — February 21, 1931 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Judge Magazine Satire Analysis This page satirizes modern radio broadcasts by reimagining Washington's famous 1776 Delaware crossing as a live sports event commentary. A judge figure operates an intense spotlight on a shirtless prisoner, with the caption "Please don't turn off the current yet. My friends think I'm in Florida!"—satirizing both radio's entertainment obsession and torture disguised as recreation. The main article parodies breathless radio sportscasting, complete with a commentator breathlessly narrating the military operation as if it were a game show. The humor derives from treating a historic military event as entertainment spectacle, with absurd details: soldiers stampeding for dinner, breaking ferry-loading records by 35 seconds, and the general nearly missing his own boat. This mocks 1920s-30s American culture's appetite for sensationalized radio broadcasts and the trivialization of serious events through entertainment media—treating history and even violence as consumer products.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
JUDGE “Please don’t turn off the current yet. My friends think I’m in Florida!” WASHINGTON CROSSING THE DELAWARE “We here we are, folks, ready for the greatest military event of the season, the crossing of the Delaware Weather conditions are far from ic There is a stiff breeze blowing from the northwest and snow is beginning to fall. The attendance is rather poor, due, pro to the recent scalping activities old Inc custom, New Guarp—I?’s all right, War- den, I got his number! The general is coming out of his tent now, followed by his staff and aides. The band is playing “Re for the River,” and the army joins in the chorus. Hear them, folks?—That was pretty good; those boys are cer- tainly in good condition tonight. By the way, folks, anyone wanting a copy of this song may obtain one by writing to this station or the one to which you are now listening. We are also requested to announce that in a short time, the Hessian recording of this number will be available, both in voice and orchestral form. Folks, that last play was so fast it fairly took my breath away. As the music stopped, a clang was heard on the waiting ferryboat. The soldiers, mistaking it for the dinner gong, stampeded in a terrific effort to get on board. That strategy of the gencral certainly succeeded, for the official mer tells me confidentially that the embarking record, previously held by the Weehawken Ferry Company, has been broken by 35 seconds. The boat is leaving the dock now, and the gen- eral is still on shore. He's sprinting for dear life,—25—20—15—10 yards —I think he’s going to make it. Yessir, by a superhuman effort he leaps and is hauled on board. Those “Say, Nellie—where the deuce did you put my music?” were the most thrilling moments of the event so far and they certainly were fast while they lasted. The boat now pulls rapidly away from the shore and I can see it zigzay ging across the river. Just a moment now while I bring the microphone across the river in our speedboat so that we can be on hand (Continued on page 29) comicbooks.com