Judge, 1931-02-07 · page 11 of 36
Judge — February 7, 1931 — page 11: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# "Just the Best Time" by Quentin Reynolds This is a humorous short story in Judge magazine, illustrated with period cartoons. The narrative follows a woman (presumably the narrator "Mamie") recounting a wedding night adventure to someone addressed as "madam." The story satirizes working-class social pretensions and awkward dating rituals of the era. Key elements include: a pushy suitor named Ralph Furey who uses tired pickup lines ("where have you been all my life?"), his friend Ida Bassett wearing a cheap, poorly-made evening dress she pretends is fashionable, and an uncomfortable rumble-seat ride in Furey's car to the wedding. The humor derives from the narrator's quick comebacks and sarcasm toward the characters' social climbing and false sophistication. The final illustration shows a cluttered room, while a sidebar cartoon references college attendance as a source of embarrassment. The overall point mocks lower-middle-class aspirations and romantic mishaps.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
JUDGE JUST THE BEST TIME By Quentin Reynolds war's that, madam? You would like V V red-and-white striped stocki Pal- Oh, you want to go to a masquerade as a barber's pole. Well, now that’s different. But honest, madam, we haven't got a single pair of red-and-white striped stockings in the jernt.... I'll tell you, though. Why not invest in a pair of our special sheer, silk, scamless, run- pair, and Whoops ! pair of less and homeless Deauville wo to the w she’s sore. I But, Mami a shout what happened last night. and we had just the best time: cally proposed to me. I just about it. Well, Mamie, you know my Jack works in the Plumb- ers and Mechanics’ Bridge and Whist Club, and a man who works there with him was getting married last night, and I and Jack was invited to the wedding. They were getting marri and I told Jack I thought that was kind of ay to be getting married and didn’t they arricd like in the morning. his pal of mine,” Jack says, “wants to put it off as possible.” ack came around to get me and he had a friend of his with him named Ralph Furey, and the freshest thing he was, too. “Say, sister, where have you been all my life?” he barks when Jack introduces us. “T have been busy keeping out of it,” I tells him. “Keeping out of wh he yoodles. Keeping out of your life, dope,” I says, and you can barrassment, You could have knocked him Brussels sprout, and I wish that I had had querade disguised 4 . 1 must tell you T and Jack went ‘out d, oh, Mamie, he practi- an’t wait till I tell you imagine his over with a one with m He had a girl with him named Ida Bassett and you Avtnon—all right, go ahead and clean if you want, but don't disturb anything! 9 “How the devil was I to know he went to college?” should have got a load of the evening dress she had wrapped around her. A prettier bit of burlap I never saw. It is rine heavy lace, with fur-banded cuffs, cach over a crépe silk slip. I must say she is a knock- out. I tell her she looks pretty nice, and she elevates onc eyelid. ‘D » you mean this old thing I am wearing?” she coos. Why, it's just something I made out of a couple of old -irons. And I suppose that imitation Persian lamb you got on is just something you made out of a couple of lamb chops,” I snaps at her. This Furey gentleman has a car with him king us to th Needless to say, I and Jack was scheduled to ride in the rumble seat. So before Ida and I come to blows, though goodness knows I am a lady and would never hit another lady except maybe in self- defense, we climb into the back seat of that concrete mixer which Mr. Furey is on the verge of owning. I must say I am not built to do my best work in a rumble seat and, furthermore, I have never liked rumble seats since the time I rode in one and got all tangled up with a pair of pliers, an automobile jack and a spare tire, all of which were parked in the seat with me. Well, Mamic, that ride took so long that by the time we got there my Alli- gator Faille Water-snake Strap Opera Shoes had gone out of style and people were (Continued on page 29) nd he is wedding. comicbooks.com