Judge, 1931-01-31 · page 10 of 36
Judge — January 31, 1931 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# "Alterations While You Wait" — Judge Magazine This page contains two satirical pieces lampooning American society: **Main Cartoon**: A gangster (Big Joe Gatt) seeks a complete disguise to evade police after allegedly killing a "beer baron" named Jake Gouge. His friend Phil suggests he simply "go out and play a game of hockey"—the joke being that a disguise is unnecessary; ordinary law-abiding behavior itself is the perfect cover. The satire targets Prohibition-era criminals and police ineffectiveness. **Secondary Jokes**: - A quip about boys becoming judges (reversing the moral anxiety of earlier generations) - "Sales Resistance": A housewife resists buying a new vacuum cleaner because her old brushes still work perfectly—satirizing both consumer pressure and domestic thrift during economically uncertain times (the 1930s reference to "1933" suggests Depression-era frugality) - A father angered his son earns only A's in school, fearing academic excellence indicates weakness—mocking parental values and masculinity anxieties. The page reflects Depression-era concerns: crime, consumerism, and changing social expectations.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
| Alterations While You Wait ok Garr wore a worried look B« nis handsome face. “Phil,” he said to his bosom friend and bodyguard, “I'm in a dangerous position. The cops are looking for me. I hear that they are leaving no stone unturned to find me. They know that I killed Jake Gouge, the beer baron, and they are out to get me for it. And if they catch me, I'll go to the cha Joe Gatt paused briefly and lit a tte with nervous fingers. Vhat I need, Phil,” he went on, exhaling a cloud of blue smoke, “is a complete disguise. I need to change my appearance completely and do it quickly. I want a disguise that even my own mother wouldn't be able to see through. Get what I mean? I want to change my features, my build, my walk and everything. It's my only hope for escay That's : “You me } 1 to change me over so that the cops won't know me if they see me?” Big Joe's voice was pleading. cig 0 out and play a game of hockey,” said Phil. —Davin Menray “att! JUDGE When a boy ran away in the old days his mother was afraid he was going to grow up into a criminal. Now it is considered a sign that the child will be a judge some day. The Dry nt’s Salute is raised only as far as th ol he hand mouth. vacuum that Sales Resistance or Little Helps for Homebodies THE BRUSH-AND-BROOM PROBLEM “Bjuesues are unsanitary. I've bought a new dingus for the es up the dust, in- 1 of simply spreading € “Tell you what you do: run in next door, on Mrs. Morgan. I'm sure she'll want one. No, I wouldn't mention my name—just sur- prise her.” “T wouldn't dare bring one in the house. It may sound silly, but they give my hus- band brush- t—his nose specialist told him so.” “I've got one.” y, have you looked at the brushes they carry at the 5-&-10? I thought not. Well, you just limp down there and then come back here if you've got the nerve!” “Yes, they're wonderful. In fact, they’re too good. I mean—we're still using the ones we bought from another of your salesmen three years ago. What's more, they look good for two more “What kind of a report card is this to bring home, young man? Nothirig but A-A-A. Are you going to turn out to be a sissy?” years, at least. Drop around in 1933." —Staniey Jones comicbooks.com