Judge — January 10, 1931 — page 23: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

i letters received by a city organization devoted to distributing clothing to the poor and out-of-work, one arrived which went to the effect: “Dear sirs: Would you mind sending me a ‘Tuxedo for my husband, size 38, with wide lapels? Yours, Mrs. me Then, according to the about-town talk, there was the unemployed gent who passed his hat around a crowd. He didn’t get his hat back. And why, come rain, come shine, wnust political blokes be so stupid? In the case, for instance, of jury duty they have a splendid chance to kick thru with a little unemployment relief. Take the ordinary man’ chosen for jury duty. A small business man, a busy executive, he kicks about being taken away from his tasks. Thou- sands are dunned, few care to be chosen. Why waste all that time and effort in such case? Why not simply pick up a panel off the numerous bread lines and take them down to court?) They'd be charmed to sit in a nice warm courtroom and listen to other peor ’s troubles and get three bucks a day in the end, What about it, Mr. Governor? Gentlemen! Gentlemen! lL year I tried to find out what the Typical College Man of 1930 was like, if any. I even offered a pair of Dunhill pipes for the most complete picture of him. ‘The results were nil. Nothing daunted, however, I'm go- ing ahead to try to determine what constitutes a Gentleman of 1. The only prize I can offer for the best summing up will be the name of his tailor. Will the Typics never offend unintentionally Will he be permitted to wear his hat in the presence of ladies he doesn’t like? JUDGE Will he carry a_ folding camp stool with him so that he won't have to give up his seat ever, any- where? Will he hang onto his flask while a woman is drinking from it? Will he swipe with the glove the insulter of his current womanhood and challenge him to a duel at Central Park Ca- sino at sunrise? Will he dance check-to-cheek ? Will he return a lady’s pocket- book if she drops it? Will he kiss and tell or will he have his hair marcelled? Will he brag of his squash racquets game (whatever that is)? Will he blue shirt and derby with a raccoon coat? Are his Will he HIS ats removable? vote Republican? Unimportant Items Biro election. traffic tickets for parking cost $2. Right after elec- tion they go back to $ Rudy Vallee intr called “Cigarette Lady" over the air the other night. Even if it'd: been good, [ wouldn't have liked it. uced a song You can buy an electric comb at Liggett’s now. Formerly Vanity Fair made all their staff sign promises to the effect they wouldn't write for Hearst. Marion Davies has 10,000 dress- ing-room on the Metro-Goldwyn lot, and she has a beach house at Santa Monica that'd make a swell lighthouse —you can see it a hundred miles at sea and it doesn’t need lights either! Whenever the editors of the Graphic lack news, they run an edition claim- W ‘8 Se BH RUN ACROSS SRINGER |’ EVERY TAY! SHE PRETEINDS To GIMME A DIRTY Look Dairy! ing in headlines Judge Crater has been seen hiding in the shrubbery of a at Mt. Kisco, Turn inside the nd you can find the house paper story. never Walter Winchell sends suggestive old jokes by Western Union to those he thinks are his friends, Bernard Shaw can read a page of Shakespeare in one minute flat. “Who chased whom around the wally of what how many tines?” (Answer next week.) Children’s heads are almost full- size after their fifth year. Poiiticians’ rarely ever are. FAD F HE SKS CANFEE NLL Be comicbooks.com