Judge — November 22, 1930 — page 28: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“Dorothy, ask the young man if he needs any money.” Introducing Mr. Broun itis column maintains an attitude of malevolent neutrality, —rein- forced by ignorance, toward politics in almost all its forms. But perhaps we can, without violating any propric- ties, quote the masterly speech of Groucho Marx ds author of “Das Kapital”) introducing Heywood Broun over WABC the other 4 t. “Man and boy I have known Hey- wood Broun for thirty years. He has also known me for thirty years This makes a total of sixty y sus down to the fiscal year of ars and , when conditions were much as they are now. My father was out of a job at the time, the complaining about the prices, and the lived right next were complaining about my father. farmers were Prices, who door, “While the other boys in our neigh- borhood were out stealing apples Broun was home stealing bananas. and reading The Congressi Ree ord. This was quite a feat, as the printing press had not yet | in and a $10 overcoat was con- away up town, “Two weeks later massed at the border, ing bitten into plows, and in a troops were plowshares were |b little become the rden a boy who was later te Archduke of Ferdinand was playing with his tin soldiers, lit tle reckin was lying tle ladies was Heywood Broun. “Heywood Broun, the Great White that an assassin’s pistol in wait for him, That lit- and ntlemen, sassin, Father of Heywood the third, first saw the light of day in the sleepy lit- tle village of Centerville, N.Y. Three days after he was born he took his carpetbag in hand, stuffed it with marked and Mare Connelly, and boarded the steam cars for the big city. At the depot the train went wild with joy as the crowd pulled out, and twenty minutes later a tiny dot appeared in the sky, broke through the clouds, and brought the plane wn for one of the prettiest little Jents ever seen on the fields of Mineola, That little accident, ladies and gentlemen, was Heywood Broun. “When we next clap eyes on Hey- wood Broun the horse had disap- peared. Up and down the Mississippi went the word; from Natchez to Vicksburg, from Cairo to Shreveport, and from Tinker to Evers to Chance sounded the tocsin, A new five-cent cigar had made its appearance, Lit ing knots of idle scoffers speculated; dubbed it the Mississippi Bubble. Little buzzing knots in the cigar made it almost impossible to smoke. ‘Broun's Folly,’ sneered his opponents, Came the day of the great experiment, clear and windless. On the windlass Broun is hoisted into the cards tle buz: comicbooks.com