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Judge, 1930-11-15 · page 9 of 36

Judge — November 15, 1930 — page 9: what you’re looking at

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Judge — November 15, 1930 — page 9: Judge, 1930-11-15

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# "All Quiet on the Forty-Yard Line" This is a satirical piece parodying Erich Maria Remarque's *All Quiet on the Western Front* (1929), a celebrated anti-war novel. The satire applies that work's dark tone to college football practice instead of actual warfare. The joke: Young athletes endure brutal conditioning drills under an tyrannical coach named Miller, and they discuss it with the same existential weariness soldiers use discussing combat. References to Princeton and Harvard—rival football teams—are treated as actual enemies ("they started it"), echoing how soldiers discuss opposing armies. The accompanying cartoons mock consumer culture and commercialism (the "Radio Shorpe" and "G.A.R. Post" sketches), likely suggesting American society's obsession with entertainment and business even during serious times. The final caption—"Say, Lem—let's write a book about the war!"—completes the parody: even trivial college sports experiences are dramatized as profound.

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tance that causes him to make us fall in the mud, face down, time and time again. Practice is nearly over, We line up once more. Then, after that, we run around the field five times tired that none of us can sleep. We are beside Ben's bed in the in- | “ritz and I. The Princeton i Ben loc That night we are so } vale and “T'll bet there’s a woman at the bottom of all this!” All Quiet on the Forty-Yard Line ) ning table, Fritz and Ben “Baked potatoes Will they never give us (With apologies to Erich Remarque W: are sitting around the tr. and Albie and I. inything cls d stringy, is a sophomore new to the varsity. He is only nineteen, “VFiddlesticks.” umbles Albic. “Today didn’t we have seconds of ice-cream And besides we ak training at the end of November.” Albie is a vetera He has been playing two years. He comes almost up to Fritz’s shoulder. “After we play Princeton and Harvard,” says Ben, who was a camp counsellor in Maine before he came here. I smile sadly. “Why must we play Princeton and Har- vard?” “T do not understand. I do not ton or I rd. T almost went to Princeton.” “Nor I,” puts in Fritz. “I do not, either,” adds Ben, “But we must play them beeause they started it. ‘That is what they tell us.” “Over there,” [whispered quictly, “they say that we started it. Perhaps it was Coach Miller.” Fritz becomes suddenly — excited. “Do you know what J would do?” he «to his feet. “1 would take all the coaches and put them on a frozen field in a blizzard and let them fight it out themselves! That is what [ would do!” We all agree. But first we quiet Fritz, who is still trembling like a leaf. I offer him a cigarette and he refuses, “Go on,” [urge him. filler has gone to the movies.” We all smoke. : Prince- shouts, jumpi * * « Today we have serimms Miller, that martinet, rave like a madman, “‘Faste “faster! until we he shouts, / ain and again, n hardly stand up, we re- hearse the same play. Every time I bump into Ben, who is playing oppo- site me, he grunts. My nose feels as big alloon. We know we must drill and drill and drill because other- wise the Princeton off-tackles and the © Dunkts Harvard laterals will annih but much of it unneces: know it is only Miller's s cus, We impor- “Say, Lem—let’s write a book about the war!” ry comicbooks.com