Judge — November 8, 1930 — page 21: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Book Worm Turns Parrenson had always been proud of his library, but this day he seemed particularly pleased as he moved among his beloved tomes. He led me from shelf to shelf, pointing out this and that fine old volume. There were literally thousands of books, reaching to the ceiling au around the large room. Books on art and literature. Books on philosophy. Plain books. Fancy books. Books. “Must be thousands here,” I said. “Three thousand two hundred and sixty, to be exact,” answered Patter- son. “Yet last week there were only two thousand six hundred and ten.” “Do you mean to say you bought more than six hundred books during the week?” “No,” said Patterson. “They were returned by borrowers.” “What a man!” I enthused. “Tell me your system. I’ve only got some fifteen or twenty books outstanding and I can’t even get them in.” “Try this,” said Patterson handing me a slip of paper. “I sent this out a week ago Sunday.” I eagerly read the sheet which con- tained the following announcement: “Unless the book that you borrowed from me on is returned by October 15th, a charge of 3c a day will be made by me from the day that you borrowed the volume to the day that it is returned.” —Arrtuer L, Lippmann “Gosh, what a pretty girl! Didya notice, Ed?” Football Similes n1& half-back was as fast as a tab- loid reader's idea of a Dartmouth senior. The pass was as straight as a Scotchman’s course in a rented car. The game was as rough as an American Legion convention. Seats were as expensive as a judge- ship. There remained as much chance for the home team to win as a gangster has of serving a prison sentence. The quarterback’s play was as pointless as Coolidge’s column, The back was as evasive as the campaign speeches of a United States Senator. a ’ BY The kick was as weak as wise- “I ain’t like these other ushers, Min. I got ambition. In my spare cracks of a radio announcer. time I’m reading the Life of Napoleon.” —Artuur SILveRBLATT 19 comicbooks.com