Judge, 1930-10-11 · page 9 of 36
Judge — October 11, 1930 — page 9: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Judge Magazine: Boxing and "Pipe Down" **Boxing Definitions** (top): This is satirical wordplay mocking boxing's commercialization. A "Palooka" is a foreign boxer; a "Champion" is wealthy but unintelligent; a "Championship Bout" is a "shell game" (rigged); the "Foul" is "usually the small end of the gate" (promoters pocket money); and a "Fight Fan" is a "psychopathic case." The humor targets boxing's corruption and the foolishness of its enthusiasts. **"Pipe Down" by Jack Cluett** (main story): Professor Claude attempts to lower a mile of pipe into the Cuban ocean to exploit cooler deep water for cheaper steam power. His associates raise absurd practical objections (freezing workers, clams clogging pipes, stray starfish). The satire mocks pseudo-scientific schemes and the gap between theoretical engineering and reality—a common early-20th-century target of humor magazines.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
JUDGE _ Boxing Definitions Promoter—A gentleman who escorts boxers in and out of the Boxing Com- L tnission’s labyrinth-like offices. — Palooka—A forcign boxer who can never master the English language. Champion—A fighter with enough money but seldom enough brains to retire. } tee Championship Bout—A shell game, | =~ Foul—Usually the small end of the \ gate. J Referee—A dancing master on a ight Fan—A psychopathic case. nl Knockout—Obsolete. (See foul.) Ep. Gieattas Brcoar—One more chanct! Termorrer if he don’t kick in wit? a couple nickels, up goes his rent! Pipe Down By Jack Cluete Prroresson Crave rubbed his hands together as his mile of pipe was lowered into the sea off Montezuma, Cuba. This was his third attempt to lower a mile of pipe, and it had cost him a million dollars each t get The idea of lowering pipe is that the water a mile down is 13° cooler and 13 n the surface water and, in this way, the Professor hopes to make cheap steam. Simply pump up the cool water, run it into a nice hot boiler and, pssst! there you are—steam! The Professor explained to his associates: “You see, Dr. Casino,” he said, “cooler water makes cheaper steam than “So you call this soup? An? to think I’ve ste warmer, or surface : been sailin’ on this stuff for ten years.” | Let Dr. Dorado said: “In that case you | could run a steam roller for practi- ; ; 7 li ect cally nothing if you were north of the 3 ‘ 7 r Hy Arctic Cire Wf “Exactly,” replied Prof. Claude, | but you'd have nothing to roll with i Besides, your r would get | snow blind and freeze his ears.” | any Dr. Shiller asked: “Aren't you | the ifraid of dragging up clams from the | job bottom, along with your cold wate | hey replied Prof. Claude, “be- | cause they will be steamed along with | usi the water and served with melted Viti butter.” mai for o@ Dr. Casino said: “Some day you're | ing going to blow the ck whistle at } day your power plant and get a faceful of | the ot only that,” added Dr. Dorado, “but I'd hate to turn on my steam radiator some cool evening and get a load of starfish . Prof, Claude replied: “What do you “Any luck?” care as long (Continued on page “Monty got one—he mistook a deer for a deer.” 7 comicbooks.com