Judge — September 13, 1930 — page 24: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

AIG Too Much Overhead I there any reason why airplane mo- tors should be any noisier than automobile Most of those over our Sun- the mutiny motors. that have come cireli day-night) suppers out on have sounded like ten-ton seraping giant yraters. E muffs kept out the racket, but we couldn't hear cach other talk! More- over, the each vied with the other to see how close to our mw they could come—probably havi bet to find out who could name the An to swear son these planes contained air Shoe-boxes, exyshells, egys, and banana-skins have rifting down in our laps. and in I have imagined someone over- head eryir it! I forgot the salt,” while s« else replies “ you haven't dea: It’s fallen or And, sure enough, there it is, bouncing off Junior’s head! If summer hadn't ended when it did, I was going to institute suit to keep planes from flying over our property. They tell me a person owns the world from the ground up to the sky. “No tres- passing” signs overhead are thoroly justifiable, they say. lawn ACTOSS pilots have most courses on our table. thing, I'm ready nickers. bread crusts come The Wurra-Wurra iene is the kibitzer who will cor rect all your errors; the dorbitz T who will correct’ the kibitzer’s mis- takes; the yes-man who will pour (7 banana oil on troubled waters; the Ve SWAY AUD JUNCR, “THINK —- 3 ghost writer who will make brains xrow where nothing grew beforehand; and there are others—but search high and low, I never been able to find the type who will do your worry- ing for you. I think there is a field such a type, so I am looking around to find one. I think he (or she) ¢ it be called the Wurra-wurra. His tasks will be simple. ‘They will consist. of taking over my worries. Thus Tam ata night club and I have no money, ‘The waiter presents. the bill, Tsay I have no money, and the waiter says, “What are you going to do about i Then I say, “Turn. the problem over to my Wurra-wurra and let him worry about it!’ My Wurra- wurra will keep me fat by worrying over market crashes, have for = LD RT - YOU IN Bond? “THS LONELY | yp, MORNING, ee , TE PARBER COUEGE GRADATE'S SPLENDID POND-SELLING CPRATUNITIES, e =f d schnapps, affaires des fem s, and bum penwork. Who wants the job? As for salary, he can nam his own figure. How he is goi collect it will be his first task in his new job, Collegiate Ne I'm going to speak seriously to the millions of parents who ar thinking of sending their children to college this Fall. ‘Too many young men, sent to Yale, have come forth little more than bond salesmen, whieh is hardly a Incra tive carcer these Millions of dollars might just as well he direct to bootleggers as sent to support the lads on. the Gold Coast or at Ann Arbor, Let’s put an end to such mockery. Send days. given Sowers FANT Low Dw INER & BANANA-SKIN BomB "FROM ARPLANE PICNICKERS: the boy to the Moler College, where they guarantee to turn him out worth-while man. This college, whose prospectus lies before me, at 139 East 23rd St. Barber College and literature claims. from a scientific standpoint shoulder to shoulder with the doctor, lawyer, engineer dentist.” Th: complete course, which turns you out, little mustache, bald spot, user of rose-water and tip-taker, takes six months, costs $150, of which the stu dent may carn back $100. The short course takes six weeks and costs but $ (The short probably teaches to shave once over and cut hair with a bowl over th 5 student takes class exer control, razor-stroke ing of the customer, culture for calling “Next! and hair-cutting, of course, are taught ith all the dignity of sculpturing. Go-getters (Continued on page 29) system its course ses in museh Shaviny comicbooks.com