Judge, 1930-09-06 · page 11 of 36
Judge — September 6, 1930 — page 11: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Judge Magazine Page Analysis This page contains three satirical pieces typical of early 20th-century American humor: **"Very Early Morning Motorist"** mocks inconsiderate drivers who create noise disturbances in residential neighborhoods with their loud automobiles—a new social problem as cars became common. **"A Perfect Alibi"** satirizes both con artists and gullible charity-givers. A beggar's trick of appearing destitute to solicit nickels is exposed by a detective, but the beggar claims he was actually trying to collect a phone number—implying people are so easily fooled they'd believe any excuse. **"The Test"** ridicules sports journalists' clichéd vocabulary. The editors mock their writers for using identical, predictable phrases ("pigskin," "towering giants," "off their game") rather than original commentary—suggesting sports writing lacks substance and relies on tired formulas. The page also includes brief commentary on endurance fliers and tree-sitting fads, reflecting contemporary public obsessions with novelty stunts.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
tite oe | Very Eanty Mornxine Moronist JUDGE + he Hey, do you want to wake up every- body in the neighborhood! A Perfect Alibi Tue man’s face was marked with the pallor of long confinement. An ilert detective watched his clumsy progress through the jostling, hurry- ing throng. He approached a crusty old gentleman and spoke in low tones. The old gentleman softened, nodded sympathetically and dropped a. nickel into the limp hand. The det stepped forward and touched the pale individual on the shoulder. “Been inside a long time, haven't “and now you're brimming nickels. Come along, Bo; you're duc for another rest. “But, of . I'm not a convict,” he protested. “I've been trying to get number from a telephone ran out of nickels ! you he snarled, Detour The road to hell isn’t paved with xood intentions. It’s only _ being paved, and that’s the hell of it. Endurance fliers are taking a big chance these days. The public is liable to forget them between the time they go up and the time they come down with a new record. when the nuts begin to fall. And October will probably see the close of the tree-sitting season. That's The Test S* freshly sobered sports writers ‘sat around the city editor's desk. nd we've got to be ready for it. question: what do we call the ball?” “The pigskin, the oval, the old spheroid.” they chanted in unison? “Good. any qu pound Next: what do we call erback under two hundred “The bundle of steel springs; the little cel of old——, the streak of lightning, the midget speed artist.” “Right. Now what happens when a Western team plays an Eastern team?” The local boys will put up a game fight, but the towering giants from the ist will finally wear them down.” ixcellent. One more: what will you say when Notre Dame loses?” As one man they rose and bellowed the swer: “They were off their game!" —P.L. “Would you gentlemen mind if I play through you?” comicbooks.com