Judge, 1930-08-09 · page 6 of 36
Judge — August 9, 1930 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Analysis of Judge Magazine Page This page contains three distinct pieces of satire: **"Safety First"** (top): A brief commentary mocking the declining "real vanishing American" pedestrian—suggesting Americans are becoming extinct. Jokes follow about designers creating loving cups as cocktail shakers and people eating grapefruit for enjoyment rather than nutrition, satirizing frivolous consumer culture. **"No more nibbling cheese in traps"** (center): A cartoon showing mice in a trap, likely commenting on workplace or social entrapment, though the specific reference is unclear. **"Baseball As They Would Describe It"** (bottom): Humorous literary descriptions of baseball by famous authors (H.L. Mencken, Gertrude Stein, Arthur Brisbane, Parke Cummins), parodying their distinctive writing styles by applying them to the sport—a recurring Judge feature mocking pretentious literature.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Safety First During this dry spell the forest rangers are trying to get campers to carry cigarette lighters instead of matches, And it begins to look as though the real vanishing American is the pedes- trian. Before le some genius is going to design loving cups with tops so they can be used as cocktail shakers. “Whatsa matter with you?’ “Asthina.” “Hey, oma, whatsa matter with him?" aye A lot of people eat grapefruit for the pure spurt of it. And if money talks, we wish it would speak up and tell us where it’s hiding. “No more nibbling cheese in traps—are we men or are we MICE!" Baseball As They Would Describe It HL. Mencken d enlightened mem- rs of the booboisie, secure in the ief that the sentimental meander- rs of Irving Berlin are great song Iyrics, and that our and glorious noc y is God’ psen Govern- ment, yapped and brayed as a former butcher’s clerk from Grand Island, Nebraska, closed his eves and knocked a spheroid of twine and horsehide into their midst.” Gertrude Stein “And one ball and one ball and one ball and hu atter is umpire is second ba nis safe at third is two more than one ise The bleachers, the bleachers is! Hits it misses strike and safe and safe and out. They yell, ve yell- Il you home er home run is home is no place like.” Arthur Brishane “A million YEARS ago an ape had the strength of FIVE men, and yes- terday Gustave Donovan HIT his twenty-seventh home run into the right field ble rs. This TEACH us that no nation would attack US if we had more AEROPLANES and were med with guns that could SHOOT one hundred miles.” —Parke Cumsinus 4 comicbooks.com