Judge — August 9, 1930 — page 20: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

t 1s popularly supposed—and the supposition is more popular among theatre managers than anybody else—that dramatic critics spend the intermissions in profound consultation with one another on the merits, or more generally, demerits of the play they are reviewing. The moment the n comes down on an act, the managers picture the critical boys gal- loping up the aisles, dashing into cor- ners of the lobby and getting into a huddle to determine the fate of the production, Sometimes the picture has them sneaking into the side alley, there to negotiate their foul business in secret and beyond ear-shot of man- agerial spies. Sometimes the picture has them convening in the gents’ lava- tory, there agreeing to make it thumbs up or down, as the cas y be. And sometimes it has them standing on the curb, their faces possessed of a malefic leer and lifting a metaphorical nostril at the rest of the public that is enjoy- ing the show hugely. After about a quarter of a century of hanging around the theatres and ter long observance of the lads, I am afraid that my report on them will prove a sad disappointment to the managers, It is true that they often get into huddles with one another and do a lot of consulting, but that con- sulting generally has much less to do with the play than with the qua of the lager served in the speakeasy across the street, the looks of the sweet one in red sitting in the eighth row, the adroit way in which Percy Hammond alw contrives to make trips around the world just when the theatrical season opens, and a unani- mous regret that the whole gang of them didn’t that evening go to the prize-fight instead. I don’t go so far as to say, of course, that the play of the evening is never directly men- tioned in these entr’-acte conversa- ziones. But let one of the lads venture to express his opinion of it and most of his confréres will disgustedly de- nounce him as a Lump for talking shop. The managerial notion that the JUDGE O GEORGE oJ intermissions are devoted to the dis- cussion of plays is, save on the rarest occasion, absurdly grounded upon the theory that the plays are worth dis- cussing. Even were there a tendency toward such discussion, it couldn't get far, for most of the boys think they know all there is to know and that none of the others knows anything. By way of letting the m: on just what it is that the reviewing gents talk about during th sions, I append the followin table of conversational statistics, set- ting forth the pet topics of each of them: 1, J. Brooks Atkinson, of the Times: The theoretically excellent beer on draught in a certain rest rant on lower Third Avenue; the de- plorable avoirdupois of the babies on view » National Winter Garden the lamentably slow progress making on the book he is writing the chances that this or that Harvard team will stand against Yale in the ne at collisi Percy Hammond, of the Herald Tribune: How sorry he is to be back; the w Grantland Rice’s mutt dog ruined his garden at Easthampton; the number of highballs Ring Lardner mopped up at his house over the week- end; what Texas Guinan said to him the other evening; and that there's absolutely no use dieting because it doesn’t do any good anyway. 3. Robert Littell, of the World: It was foolish to leave the New Republic and take up daily reviewing, because it’s too d. ed hard work; the fat an sitting behind him keeps stick- r toe through the slit in the r and tickling his tochus; well, about that Walter Lipp- man book, I don’t know—maybe yes, maybe no. John Anderson, of the Journal: If they don’t shut off that draft that's blowing down my neck, I'm going home; did you ever try Vapex for a cold, it’s great; I get six or seven colds every theatrical season; why doesn’t someone look after that 18 ACRE: NATHAN awful draft in the smoking lobby is full of drafts and if you're susceptible to colds, you'll catch one; hew! Gilbert Seldes, of the Graphic: That fellow Nathan doesn’t know what he is talking about; did you read my last article in the ning Post; the trouble with N he doesn’t know what he’s about; did you read my novel; Naths an strikes me as being something of a bonehead. 6. Walter Winchell, of the Mirror: Any dirt, fellows; did you hear the gag about the hat-check girl at the Casanova; they've barred me from Butler Davenport's theatre; here, stand in front of me, that’s Lee Shu- bert; do you know anybody who's going to have a baby or anything. 7. Gilbert Gabriel, of the Ameri- can: How am I expected to write de- cent reviews when the managi tor won't Ict me ever stay for the act and I must get my stuff in by twenty-two minutes past nine; A. came over to our house last and didn’t leave until five-thirty this morning; say, docs Jed Harris call you up too in the middle of the night? 8. Charles Darnton, of the Evening World: Hollywood isn't so bad; I don’t seem to have missed much in the last five years, judging from what I've seen; the liquor in that speakea down the street is lousy, but they you pretzels free; yes, poor Louis De Foe is gone. 9. Richard Lockridge, of the Sun: Imperium in imperio; exceptio probat regulam; suaviter in modo, fortiter in re; sua cuique voluptas; carpe diem; in hoe signo vinces; corpus delicti; de mortuis nil ni: bonum; noblesse oblige; obiter dictum; lares et pe- nates; Jupiter Pluvius; in tota; in loco; in medias res; infra dignitatem. 10. Kelcey Allen, of Women’s Wear: They say “The Blue Ghost” did fifty thousand last week; Women’s Wear is now carrying eighty thousand dollars’ worth of advertising a weck; (Continued on page 27) comicbooks.com