Judge, 1930-08-09 · page 13 of 36
Judge — August 9, 1930 — page 13: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Judge Magazine Page Analysis This page contains two sections of satirical humor typical of 1920s Judge magazine: **"Advice to the Lovelorn"** presents a comedic advice column mocking dating customs of the era. The humor targets young men's dating anxieties—keeping hands on steering wheels during drives, avoiding hammocks, shaving more often, and the absurd suggestion to forward ten cents for a signed photo of silent film star John Gilbert. The final quip about marriage recommends going to City Hall's License Bureau with "more than two bucks," satirizing marriage costs and bureaucracy. **"The Endurance Champ"** is a brief joke about an elderly boyfriend who gets winded playing chess—mocking both aging and the sedentary nature of the activity. **"Inscription for a Rural City Hall"** (top-right) is a poem crediting traffic violators, speeding cars, and lawbreakers for funding the town's 1928 municipal building through fines and accident damage. It's satirical commentary on local government revenue sources during the automobile age. The beach/fan dance quip at bottom is a wordplay joke about the popular 1920s novelty "fan dance."
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
“Yeah—my wife is learning to drive our motor-boat!” Advice to the Lovelorn ‘ sTEN, Big Boy, keep both hands onthe steering wheel, see, and don’t pull that one about running outta uas because I know all the a swers, “If I were you I'd sit in the rocker. The last guy Sis had around here fell out of that hammock one night.” “Ouch! more often y, why don’t you shave “Of course, if you want something But just look at the sparkle in this stone.” “Yes, Nelly, I certainly think your young man should call on your folkz fore asking you to go to the movies. Never let your boy friends take you too cheaply. Yours, Beatrice Faird “Why don’t you marry the girl?” “If you will forward ten cents to cover postage we will gladly send you 4 signed photo of John Gilbert.” “Come to the Bijou. The coolest and darkest movie in town.” “Take the downtown subway to the City Hall. Go upstairs to the License Bureau. And you'd better take along more than two bucks, too.” The Endurance Champ “Is Mai: so old?” “Old? Wh playing chess e’s new boy friend really , say, he gets winded The difference between a beach pa- rade and a fan dance is that on the beach they don’t have any fans. JUDGE of classic lines anced by our tre rs that passed a Contributed the flag on top. From tourists out of line on hills We raised the cash for masons’ bills. All cars that parked beyond an hour Contributed our Tudor Tower. Foundations, plumbing, copper leaders Were underwritten by the speeders, While clouds of smoke from cars’ ex- hausts Defrayed all architectural costs. This building, neat but not ornate, Constructed nineteen-twenty-eight, From roof to rugs and radiators We owe to traffic violators— To whom these chiseled words express This township's thanks for lawless- ness! —Artuur L. Lippmann fines. “STOP” 1” comicbooks.com