Judge — June 21, 1930 — page 8: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Do Statistics Lie ? (S. J. Perelman, staff statistician on Jepcr, answers this dull question in a new and totally unentertaining article.) Dx the recent Beaver, Buffalo, nd Duck Contest, held in this tte, I sent out a questionnaire asking, “Do you often lie awake nights wondering whether statistics lie? Would you like me to write an article proving that they do?” The 148 letters, 148° said the first question and to the second. In re- ing. Out of “No” in re 154 said “No JUDGE sponse to the overwhelming demand, I shall show you how: statisties lie by examining six taken at random from ny newspaper, let us say, for in- stance, the Russian newspaper Stella Dallas. No. 1. Hungarian women were given the franchise in 1918 and later lost it. This is ridiculous. Any good book on Hungarian female franchises will contradict this statement. > tion only one, Ernie Golden's “Five Little Hungarian Franchises and How They Grew,” says: “Hun- garian women—that is, women in THAT YEGG JUST GAVE ME THE SLIP BEAMED THE BRIGHT BULL You've been in a scuffle again, you bad boy; if I catch you in that coal-scuffle again, I'll wrap it around your kisser. sealskin coat, but will it stand the rain?” hedged a floozie. the rain?” stuttered the salesman, seal carrying an umbrella?” paper the aces. shuffles the pasteboards. “Yes, this is a nice and “Say, madam, did you ever see a Holystone the decks, boys, and sand- I'll show that Gr A: syndicate how a Brooklyn boy Hungary—were given the franchise in 1916, ‘They still have it. Any- body who women haven't IT check to the one No. 2. Windsor Castle is built on land which William I. ‘acquired from the Abbot of Westminster. Ha, ha, what nonsense! In a letter William I. received from the Abbot of Westminster, the latter openly ad- mits that he has no land, but adds wistfully, “I wish Thad land.” Wil- liam was so moved that he gave the Abbot two small parcels and cl the Abbot's name to Haviland. The parcels are still in the East Checking Room of Grand Central if you are skeptical. No. 3. lent polish for silver. Cigarette ash makes an excel- Balderdash, simply balderdash. far back as 1066, William L., in a let- ter to the Abbot of Westminster, com- ments: “I find that rette ash makes a perfectly miserable polish for sil- ver. What do you find?" The Abbot unhesitatingly replied: “I find Cam- els mostly on Gulick Street, but on Evans Street you can find Luckies and sometimes Fatimas.” For this William ch: 1 his name to “Lucky” Haviland. No. j. The flamingo is the only mem- ber of the stork tribe which builds a nest of mud. Banana oil and anti-stork propa- ganda, Anybody who believes this has never been in a flamingo’s nest, let alone seen one. A flamin, cleanest animal there is, e named Blettsworthy, on Rampole Ish: marri pt a man jo used to live nd near us. He later 1a flamingo named Irma n> id settled on Blettsworthy Is- was a ably. clean igo, Tre ; r house was ade of pecan shells, not mud. No. 5. Eye-glasses did not become popular until 1290. Just ignorance, that’s all. Both the Abbot of Westminster and William I. wore eye-glasses; and the Abbot, in a postal card addressed to Willi veals that glasses were be very popular nong enfranchised women in Hun + He also sa “There is three dollars and ten ce due on those parcels in the checking room. Take the hint.” To which William paid no attention but replied: “It stands to reason that anybody Rothstein owed didn’t shoot (Continued on page 27) comicbooks.com