Judge — June 21, 1930 — page 26: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

QIDNEY @ LENZ = Mr. Len Those who follow this department of Jud; is undoubtedly the most remark it welcome corresp Le lated to Auction and Contrac iG a good fairy ever gives me one Contract wish, I have it all picked out: “Save me from my rescuers.” At Auction it was bad eno at Contract the ready rescuer is the most deadly of the species. I was playing with a terribly nice lady. The qualifying adjectives may sound contradictory, but I refuse to retract. She was charming, lovely, a wonderful player—and protective I sat South and had the deal with both si vulnerable. The bidding was weird and wonderful—by all four players: 331087 42 52 10843 The Bidding SOUTH = WEST NORTIL PAST Trump93 Hearts] + Diamonds T 1 Tl rumps Pass Double| Pass ] Pass Redouble _ [7 Hearts] Pass Double [Pass [Pass Double| | Pass Pass West's two No Trump bid was poor strategy. Unless a Demand-bid in suit s started, the declaration should have been for three or four No Trumps. North’s Heart bid, after the partner had passed, was like flirting with a buzz-saw. East's Diamond bid was very deceptive—to the partner. South's double of six No Trumps was predicated on off-side play that can- ¢ from Judge readers and qwill Jed correspondents send has held, fourteen times, the National and International Bridge and Whist Championships bur C. Why d has ever known. ad hias sad: "Sidney give advice an tamped addressed not appear in the chart. East, having shown values that the hand did not hold, hesitated long over the partner's bid of six No Trumps, but finally passed with great reluctan It seemed to ith that the enemy's foundation was rather insecure and six No Trumps was no puny contract, but if East could be induced to bid seven Diamonds it would be simply grand. st did trustful, and West was naive but South had made the error of counting out the partne West's guileless redouble had the effect on North as South's double on East! We were set eight tric 3,000 points—instead of setting the adversaries 2,800 points. It was all made clear and soothing when North summed up: “Partner, I deceived you with my Heart bid and simply had to protect you.” The other extreme, of the partner who is always optim prove rather expensive, but all in all I cast my vote for the hopeful player. Possibly I am influenced by the re- sult of the following deal, where a | | | Things I Never Knew ’Til Now (In the manner of Walter Winchell.) That barbed wire is no good for | pajamas strings. T when the holes in a mouse trap are too big for the necks of mice the problem can be solved by soaking the trap in water or by baiting it for rats. That juniper juice sprayed on your front door will keep out Indians. That the idea of painting gasoline ns red and yellow came ta an al of the Shell Oil Corporation ing lobster and lemon ice. 22,000,000 right-handed golf- | ers in the United States couldn't play any worse left-handed. That crows can never be taught to chase fire engines, pleasure cars or cats. per cent of the people utomobile tours Sunday never finish the trip. That the cut in a golf ball can be | removed by ripping off the outer shell. That there are no magicians in Ice- land, due to the difficulty of raising rabbits there. That when a back there pretty sic its owne oldfish ies on its » reasons: It is trying to frighte n 3. ‘Tt is not a goldfish, That nine out of ten Congressmen have halitosis. That the best way to attract imme- diate attention is to walk through the reading room of a public library in | squeaky shoes. , may at times | That no matter how much you stir alphabet soup, you can't spell “Idio- syncrasies.” That if they use noiseless typewrit- ers in the office, it is a good idea to | make the stenographer wear a bell. cheerful partner forced me to take the | maximum score, Again [ dealt in the South position. The bidding and play will be given in next week's issue. See how close you can arrive to the final result. 2 That straight creek. That a good way to break an en- gagement is to send the girl paper flowers. swim the made to starch in can be putting eels by That if you have a habit of putting your fountain pen in your pocket wrong side up, with the top off, it is economy to wear a blue vest. That it is useless to throw a drown- ing man a pair of oar-locks. That run an escalator is a sure sign of i ing up pigeon raised at one end of a ferryboat, when released there, is apt to alight at the other end by mistake. That if you throw a fly net over an automobile it will still be possible for moths to get into the upholstery. —H. I. Puituips, in the N.Y. Sun comicbooks.com