Judge — June 7, 1930 — page 22: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Noah Beery No Work Ox of the latest the young un-American go-getter is to get you on the phone and say, “This is Mr. So-and-So of Famous Players-Lasky. I'd like to drop in and talk over a proposition.” Vision- ing mounting piles of royalties as a dialogist; international acclaim squawking st as a produce resorts of as a or a thousand a week you get so excited you even empty out the ash trays to get the place looking right. However, when Mr. So-and-So turns up, it seems that what he really wants to do is to sell you The Dolly Dimple Beer- making Machine! * This Way to the Palookas! Tits sear 1 have positively refused to visit the training camps of either Schmeling or Shark The atmosphere is too Theatre Guild for my sunny disposition, The otherwise lovely face of Mama Nature is clut- tered with Broadway chisclers, goril- las, wise guys, small-time living off punch-drunk sparring. part- ners, sob-sisters and all the Young Men of Manhattan who put on Brill Bros. knickers and shoot golf pour le sport. Further, my desire for the Higher and Fewer forbids me to en- joy the spectacle of sparring partners trumping the champ's he ukulele quartettes at evensong; the smell of liniment; the trainers called “Doe”; nagers YRRIES 7- “WNNEY P= TAKE Suriey/ the campfire reminiscences about John L., Peter Jackson and Jem Mace; and the elephantine practical jokes which everyone must laugh at, since the champ thought them up. Of course, there's always the chance a punching bag will revolt and knock out the champ, but Task you, Is It Worth It? an er Just the before Sharkey fought Dempsey a reporter dropped around for an interview. He asked Sharkey’s opinion of some of the old- time sock exchangers. As cach name came up, the Terrible Shark plies went something like thi van? Just an old stew! Jack Johnson? 1 could lick ‘im the best day he ever saw! Je Ha, ha, ha! Tunney? ‘The pansy! Dempsey? A push-over!"” Duly awed, the reporter decided to go. rkey insisted that he stay, saying “Have lunch wid me. I’m gonna have steak.” But the reporter went and in his story wrote, “I wish now that I had stuck around to see how they fed that steak to the Ferocious Lith. Maybe they threw it to him through the transom!” same, s re- “Sulli- Let's Go Nowhere gor this summer, some Travel Bu- reaucrat with Va; bond Dreams thought up the idea of chartering a Dtpigcrndt NAAVER, 20 Cunard boat and running off « of cruises to Nowhere. For i having embarked — for cruise from New York, you will set sail for some point in the ocean, either on or off the compass. The twelve- mile limit having slipped by, you will be set to work pol with your feet. home, havii ss rail Then you can return been Nowhere—or ain I urally, it would be unwise ertrude Ederle along; she surely could swim home. I imagine, AUNAY? THE CHANCE THAT too, there will be several stews who, having been parcel-posted by their companions, will wake up in the Sar- gasso Sea and think they are caught in traffic at Times Squ Some of the longer trips will take you almost to Europe without landing. Pity the poor schoolmarm from Scranton, who has saved for years to sce the Passion Play, and, getting on the wrong boat, is turned home within smelling dis- tance of Cherbourg. Hihattractions ne Abbey Club, where Jean fallin, one of the original Whoop sisters, sings his scurrilous parodies. . « « The haddock-coverings at the Cambridge Pharmacy, which is oppo- site this clown-sheet’s rosy bower. . . . The Jantzen bathsuit demonstratrix, who shows off a tidy torso in Davega’s (Continued on page 32) comicbooks.com