Judge — May 31, 1930 — page 17: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“Ain't he goin’ to say nothin His Own Apanisxa Cappy throat. The Captain’s Table }eee the convenience of those who will take ocean trips this season, the following suggestions are offered on how to meet the captain, Rush up and tell him you are a friend of Mr. Snooks, who sailed with him on the 12th of August last year. He will instantly reeall Mr. Snooks ind insist that you sit on his left. Ingratiate yourself by asking any one of the following questions, which ire as much a part of a captain's dail life as brushing his teeth or closing : time will we dock? is that funny thing on a line that spins around in back of the ship? Were you ever scasic Do you ever see any whale Isn't this boat just a little bit top- heavy? Slip on one marking — th f the brass plates seven -times- around - from-here-makes-one-mile” and sprain an ankle. ‘The ship's doctor will pro duce the captain, who will make every- thing right by assisting you to your cabin, At meal time you can r in the dining saloon and he will insist that you sit on his right. Find out in advance where the cap tain banks and get a letter to him from one of the tellers. He will be more than cordial. ‘ake the best-looking girl you can find along with you. Sailors get mighty tired of looking at sea gulls and tourists. Refuse to tip the dining steward. JUDGE him time--he's clearing his This will result in « tives: you won't get have to dine in your cabin alone, or you can burst into the dining saloon and make such a scene that the tain will hasten to rise and pull out Kither course will ge. —Sraniry Jones air for you. c sure you a delightful vc A Well-Traveled Man the first man in his particu- H"; r field I'd ever had a ¢ eto talk to, and [ was « ct his reaction to his work. “Your line is pretty crowded, isn’t it?” I asked. = “he admitted with shake of the head. “You've got to keep pushing if you want to get any- where in it.” ‘Well, you t “That's it,” h ela lot,” T said. greed. “It brings me in touch with all sorts. Hardly a day goes by I don't rub elbows with ten or fifteen different nationalities in a business way.” “Very interesting,” how many calls do “Well,” most traveling men. “Tsaid. “About ou make . he said, “I do bette T make at least one call at every station the train comes to.” day “And have you customers at every station?” I “It's hardly ever that I don’t get at least one,” he admitted. “Of course it depends on the time of day, the time of y and the particular station itsel fo be sure,” Ta d. “And now tell me, how did you come to pick this business you're in? Just what was it made you finally decide to become -a subway conductor?” —Cannore Carnor. Finst Senennanrre to your lawn? iood heavens, Snodgrass! What's happened designed on the style of