Judge — May 10, 1930 — page 8: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

The Peeping Tom Situation By S.J. Perelman xyBopy who has ever been peeped at by a ‘Tom will never forget the joyous madness and the devil-may- exaltation of it all, Unfortu nately, what with vices like dry-point etching, care riding to hounds, and playing JUDGE the — flageolet, should be who # peeping from the few and far between. we Eneyelopedia Britannica, Mr. Winchell’s column in the Daily Mir- ror, that T12 real or should L say Peep- Tomt—are today — practicing their profession in the U.S. AL OF these 469 are preserved in Aspic, New growing — boys learn bottom up are estimates only Peeping WE’RE KNOCKING ’EM COLD IN THE STYX ! SIMPERED SATAN We greet you this evening from the Bilge Room of the Eppis Hotel outside the Wailing Wall. days,” spat needle’s for! “You “In your hat, grandma,” riposted Coralie. could you play a victrola without one?” “You babes are a flock of phonies these Grandma Griswold. dont even know I'm two “damns” and a “hell” ahead of him, and I just wrote “Oh, fudge,” on Belasco’s collar. 6 Jersey, where they peep at each other and hence do not count. (This, of course, does not include the chief of police, who is dead and could not be reached at the time the figures were compiled.) Soe we see that only 245 real peepers are left, of whom four dicd of mortification since 1 started writing this. Assuming that six more will pass out by the end of the article, 1 only 3 have am safe saving that ‘Toms will set out this eve ning on their routes. that within two ve And remember rs not one of them will be left. Head colds, that bane of the Peeping Tom, incurred whilst skulking in damp grass waiting for dark, will have taken its toll of at least fifty per cent. The r fifty per cent. will have fallen asleep by the time it got dark and been caten by roving ptarmigan. Not a very jolly thought, is it No, the Old Guard of the has passed on, leavin striplings in its plac old bluff ‘Toms thirty or for ning clams, shells an peepers crew of callow Where are the who used to cover spartments of an eve put away a dozen all, washing them stout? Now us to a newspaper or a deck of muse himself. His heart And the eyes now aren't "old days. 1 and then down with a glass o adays one of your effete Toms take alon cards te isn’t in it, grown gray in the service. had peeped into homes from Ecuador to Esthonia, from Rhodesia to Rhode Island. He had hung upside down for three days from the mizzen-peak of a bound around square-rigg: pe Horn to yet his s bronzed cheek he bore ~ received whilst. peer through the flap ina sheik’s tent in Biskra on the fringe of the mighty Sa y. barn,” he exclaimed laugh ingly, "I've peeped houses. that never even had wi T made my own windows. dhe produced an auger bit and of felt-soled sh “Here they companions — for dows ! From a cupl re, my twenty - five years.” he mused. “If they could only Speak, what tales tl pulled out my checkbook. “Money talks, friend,” I softly. “A Hearst man spares no ex pense to get the stor, hig scoop. ‘The presses are waiting in New York. Will ten thousand dol lars buy it?” The door opencd be dome and Cornwallis of | the Seripps-Howard crowd slipped in si (Continued on page 27) only comicbooks.com