Judge, 1930-04-05 · page 13 of 36
Judge — April 5, 1930 — page 13: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# "The Vanderbilt Convention" - Judge Magazine Satire This article satirizes the wealthy Vanderbilt family's commercialization and fragmentation compared to Boston's old-money establishment. The author contrasts Boston's stable "blue-bloods" (Cabots, Lodges) with the scattered, celebrity-endorsing Vanderbilts, who appear in newspapers promoting various products—soap, cold cream, bridge-scoring systems, and even horses. The joke hinges on the family's size and visibility: there are so many Vanderbilts doing endorsements that the narrator struggles to identify *which* Vanderbilt originated what enterprise. The satire targets the Gilded Age practice of prominent families lending their names to commercial products, treating aristocratic status as a marketing commodity rather than maintaining dignified privacy. The cartoon illustrates this chaos through absurdist scenarios—Vanderbilts endorsing everything from household goods to sporting activities—mocking the loss of traditional upper-class restraint.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
The Vanderbilt Convention Brrone we go any farther 1 think it’s about time we cleared up the Vanderbilt situation once and for all, Over in Boston they don’t have any trouble at all keeping tabs on their blue-bloods because they seem to stay put. Give me twenty-four hours and a good stout rope and I'll corral every Cabot, Lodge and Bean in Boston; and, with an extra hour's grace I'll inake eve! er of the Watch and y hol Momma!” bot le Lodge endorsing a vanishing And, do you think for one moment that any of the Beans would start a chain of newspapers on the coast? Not if I know my Beans, No, indeed. God save the Commonwealth of Massachusetts. The Vanderbilt family presents a different problem, ke the Vander- bilt Convention, for instance: What one of you can tell ine whether it's a bridge signal or a meeting of soap en- dorsers? Now I met Cornelius Vanderbilt, Jr, the other day in the Vanderbilt ing horseshoes in the wash- 1 mind toss- through with it. He ciously and said: “I'm xot the wrong Vanderbil person you want if you're interested p is Cornelius Vanderbilt: Whit- ney. Wi Hunsy—Yeah! p—I don't see why you should be depressed. know where your next meal is coming from From some darned tin can! JUDGE Newest Prison Annivar—Nothing on the hair, Henry—and not too-o-0-0 close! “Well,” 1 said, “who is the one in your family th observing hington to the I'M bet he'd lend me 1 Cornelius, “and aight: Lucretia Vanderbilt originated the delice: ted toiletries, all of which 1 sed in lovely containers of rich blue and silver, which were designed by the You, at least, ' Mr. Vanderbilt’ who originated the present system of contract bridge scoring, the club convention and the New York Central Railroad.” I said: “Haven't you mixed up », Newspapers, cold cream New York Central Railroad >" Lix up soap,” Corne lather tha us. replied, multiplies *T answered, “and you get snubbed “And what's more,” sai “his book presents an ¢ sis of the Vanderbilt Convention, in- cluding a list of the members who at tended the last one in Atlantic City.” “Who's the Vanderbilt that's slim asa nymph?” I asked, drawing a bowl ot water from the boiler of the lerbilt Hotel. “I believe that’s Cornelius Vander- hilt. Barton. You know: Cornelius Vanderbilt Barton iy. staying at the a for a few days before he sails ore he sails before he between nd back to I from New York before opening his winter home in Palm Beach.” I rolled up my. sleeves and con- tinued: “Which one is featured in ow let's see... There’s one Vanderbilt astride a horse going over the hurdles at Bailey's F h. TT be- lieve that’s an endorsement for horses. One is pitching horseshoes at Sarasota (Continued on page 29) comicbooks.com