Judge — March 29, 1930 — page 8: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Annual Navigation Report By S. J. Perelman warns of letters have been settling like bees the last Jvvar’s Navigation, Pound - Foolish Department, | tively whimpering for spring shipping news. People whose pans paled for- merly at ten days on Coastwise around ¢ and battening 1s, laying keels, down hatches with JUDGE gusto, procured at the corner grocery The National Ret Greengrocers’ Associatic il Informal reports that unless forcign gusto imports increase. there will be a schism in the ranks of domestic gusto growers, ending in a general massacre of all over the ¢ of twelve. Even in the ranks of the “Four Hundred” ship- ping fever has raised its any débutantes at Huguenots y head; nse knot of morning one © Pierre's or the Park THE AIR°S LIKE BEER AND LIGHT WINES TONIGHT, BERTHA, TEMPTED THE ARMENIAN EX=AMBAS SADOR The Fifth Regiment of Dublin Fusiliers will immediately proceed to Bombay and arrest Mahatma Pincus, Mahatma Kornbloom, and Hans Holbein for stirring up rice puddings among the natives. Laomite—“What’s a virgin forest, Blenkinsop?” that’s never been axed, M’sieu Pettibone! Stravactite—“One Or maybe I should have ” sold this to the sex mags at their usual spice rates. Lane toying with a bit of oakum in betw goose. ren the caviar and the roast mon- No less a personage than Mrs. Otto Spengler-Spivack was glimpsed ata bazaar wearing a broadtail wrap trimmed with riding lights and up at the throat with a b The most important char transatlantic this wrought in the Berengaria, which in stalled a glass bottom so that passen gers could look at marine life. Unfor- tunately, on the eastbound trip te Cherbourg the under side of the glass was clotted with flying sponges. whe had never seen anything like the pas sengers on the Berengaria, When questioned as to their reactions, the sponges confessed to a feeling of nausea and went home scuffi their fect. No other signs of sea life ap peared during the next four days, and several of the passengers went to the purser in a body to complain, ‘The latter pointed out that the Berengaria was still tied up to the wharf and that it was a little carly to expect any thing. He thought, however, that they ought to se few days The Le suffused with blushes at being outdone by the Limies, installed a glass bottom also. so that the first-class nabobs could look down at the tourist and stecrag: passengers. Deck stewards, after some hesitation, then allowed the trav elers to lower their lines, baited with bits of pork. Two rather vinegary school hers were immediately led in, but had to be thrown as they were too large around the st to pass through the hoop as re quired by the Bay of Fundy fishery rules. As all the pork was gone, the lines were baited with pieces of steward, this time with more success. A small shoal of ve plump and juicy, in smil ing toothily and rushed off forth with to the cook's galley to be made into a chowder. That’ evening the dining-room was a blaze of lights and pulsating rhythm as obsequious wait ers laid out the polished the diam But where was th ous stage stars, so tight-lipped « their plucked eyebrows in surprise. Already impatient diners were begin- ning to beat on their plates with their spoons. “This—this is infamous, sir!” splut- tered one choleric old gentleman with walrus mustaches, t ing his red fi ngrily between his fingers. “Humph! Is this the service one (Continued on page 29) aght ing-pin. in the season liners was some water in iathan, its boys, awless knavery and nd-studded forks. chowder? Luxuri- jal luminaries, and ns of fi raised comicbooks.com