Judge — March 8, 1930 — page 17: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Helpful Similes for Baseball Writers The runner was as safe as a quart of grape juice at a college prom. The second baseman couldn't catch a cold in Siberia. Whoosis lifted a fly that was higher than a diamond necklace at Tiffany's. The umpire was blinder than an earthworm in a London fog. The home team got more runs than a pair of silk stockings in a bramble patch The game was tighter than a Pull- man car window. The twirler had as many curves as Ziegfeld’s chorus. The stands were as crowded as a sophomore’s runabout, —Parke Cumsinos Charity Begins At Home Since the movies have gone Sher- lock Holmes and figured out the Arnold Rothstein murder mystery, it’s y reasonable to assume that they will look in their own bac! turn out a picture c William Desmond Ta yard and aring up the ylor slaying. And the zipper shirt we sent to the laundry as a joke came back with but- tons sewed on it. “I never disturb my husband at this hour. He does so enjoy reading his paper in peace.” \ And “cx” marks the beginning of i The Morning Paper a lot of book titles. Jose’ boarded the train in time to be at the office . Now he could the morning j papers. “Rum ings Start Gang w a he man sitting next to him began blowing his nose in an irritating man- ner. He finally got his mind back on the paper. htweight Stars in Two Battles— Now the man beside him was coughing violently, and his convulsions shook the papers so that he could not read. Jones took mple e at the quotations while he had a chance, but then the infernal pest opened the window, and the papers rattled so that in reading was out of the questior This was the last straw! Jones glared at the stranger in deepest re- sentment and then walked aloofly down the car until he found a gentle- looking man to sit next to, one that would not act so restless when he i read over his shoulder. —Artuur Camppete Out of print, ee comicbooks.com