Judge — March 8, 1930 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

4 JUDGE 1\| Easy Jobs Taking care of Calvin Coolidge’s ion slips. Having charge of the drug depart- ment in a modern drug store. Shadowing Paul Whiteman. I the M Distributing food samples in Scot- land. ing vice-president of a bank or ayor of New York. Writing down for posterity all the bright remarks of Senator Heflin, No Assistance Needed You can fool some of the people all of the time and all of the people some of the time, but the rest of the time they will make fools of themselves. Then there was the Scotch house- wife who always served split-pea soup two days in su ERG OSteH cession because it was “How do you like this mask? I’m going to wear a shame not to use the other half, it at the carnival tonight.” Helping Hands When the theatre tickets turn out to | be for the wrong show “Oh, well, it might have been worse, but I still don't see how it hap- pened.” | “We'll make it another time, but it | ashame. We get to town so seldom at we like to make every minute count, and the critics say that this thing is simply awful. “If you'd only attended to it your- sclf, instead of sending some dumb office boy out to get the tickets. How- ever, I suppose it all comes under the head of experien I'd much prefer sitting at home | with the io than to drag out to something like this. Even the seats aren't any good,” “Do? You can't do anything ex- cept go around tomorrow and bawl | out the ticket ugent. And my idea of } time utterly ted is to bawl out a ; ticket agent.” “It’s all right for you to talk about making the best of it! You see all the good shows with your out-of-town customers, anyw arr By gad, Throckmorton—you'll answer for this!” —Sraniey Jones 11 } comicbooks.com