Judge — February 8, 1930 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

The Shirt-Tail Problem Four solemn, elderly gentlemen, wearing the conventional frock coats of big business, sat round a ma- hogany table in the directors’ room of the Narrow Collar Company, Inc. On the center of the table lay a brass shirt stud. The directors nervously ad- justed their neckties, tucked in their shirts and said nothing. At last the president rose to his feet and said: “Gentlemen of the board of diree- tors of the Narrow Collar Company, I have called this meeting of the board to discuss ways and means of dispos- ing of th 1 in’ shirt- tails, and also to hear suggestions rela- tive to bright green tarnish on Adam’ apples. What have you to s: The vice-president said: “I've al- ways maintained, C. R., that instead of ‘cutting down on. shirt-tails, they should be made longer so you could fasten your socks to them.” “The trouble with that, S. L., is you'd take your socks off in a hurry Some day and pull your shirt right off your back down through your trouser- The secretary said: “I'd do aw with the tail and all and just make a collar and two sleeves. “For that matter, president, “why with the sh ess) mater n's volunteered the not even dispense ou'd have nothing to roll up if you got ina fight or wanted to wash your hands,” replied the secretary. The vice-president sted his tie and said: “I have invented a collar button which will not tarnish the esophagus. It works on the principle a suction pad, only The president scowled and rapped for order. dhe, “We're still: on shirt-tails, Smitty—if you don’t mind.” ouldn’t we sell all the material that goes into shirt-tails to a ps mill?” asked the treasurer, tucking in his shirt. “Then what would people tuck in?” queried the president. heir six-months nights,” r The president grew livid. not a nursery, G. G.—I'm ashi you!” Id baby on cold imidly, “By the way, E. H., you suggested the excess shirt-tail m aper mill, What would they do with it?” asked the vice-president. Thet : They would make it into pulp and then it would be turned into writing paper.” “Then,” said the vice-president, “why couldn't we make it into writing JUDGE The sceretary said: “If you fellows want to tuck writing paper into your trousers instead of shirt-tails, you're welcome to. [ll keep my writing paper in a desk and my shirt-tails in my trousers. If s ys want to do it 2 versa, xO 2 The treasurer said cited, S. L., the shirt-tails would be cut off before they were made into note paper.” Don't get ex- The president said: “I don’t think there’s anything more degrading than und with his to see a man running shirt uils hanging out.” “Ya don't!” gasped the secretary, “Have you jumping up on the table. seen the Follies of 1930 All the directors knotted around the sceretary to hear the dirt, and the meeting autor ally adjourned, —Jack Crurrr The tenant who tired of knocking on the radiator has a special hammer made to remind the janitor directly, 3 comicbooks.com