Judge, 1930-01-25 · page 6 of 36
Judge — January 25, 1930 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Judge Magazine Page Analysis This page contains three separate humor pieces: 1. **"No Harm Done"**: A Scottish man lit a cigar with a twenty-dollar bill, intending not to pay. The joke satirizes Scottish stereotypes about frugality. 2. **"Movie Star to His Love"**: A romantic poem by R. C. O'Brien, mocking overwrought Hollywood sentiment and theatrical clichés ("I'll go through the motions"). 3. **"Few More Similes"**: A collection of brief comic comparisons about mundane situations, using deliberately weak comparisons to create humor. 4. **"Stories That Never Grow Old"**: A humorous dialogue between a father and son about collegiate life and romance, poking fun at coming-of-age narratives and predictable family exchanges. The lower illustration shows seals in an Arctic setting, captioned "One of Ringling's seals returns to the Arctic"—likely referencing Ringling Bros. circus animals.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
JUDGE No Harm Done A Scotchman once lit a ci a twenty-dollar bill. He had no in- tention of paying it anyway. prmoeeD And parachute manufacturers in Scotland are very liberal with their 2 guarantees. If the thing doesn’t open, you can take it back and they'll refund your money. cxomess Co Movie Star to His Love “Ah, I shall sing to you, my love, Beneath your balcony My song shall be of you and love ‘And moonlight, stars and me. I'll sing how to be by your side I'd cross a hundred oceans; (Of course somebody else will sing, But I'll go through the motions.) —R. C. O'Brien Few More Similes Appetizing as the prospect of a Sunday dinner at a sandwich shop. As reticent as a Broadway col- umnist. As vitally important as the ap- proval of the minutes at a meeting of the Literary Society. As ghastly as listening to an imi- tator of Libby Holman at a church benefit. As good as any of the stuff you can get nowadays. And as exclusive as the Book-of- the-Month Club. Stories That Never Grow Old And after Jack climbed the bean- stalk, he walked to the big house, and whom do you think he saw? John, there’s the most marvelous sale of hats at Bloomingsaks’—it would be criminal not to take advan- tage of it... . Sorry if I'm late, dear, but a buyer came in from the West, and naturally I had to show him around the plant. You just don’t understand, Dad, when a man is a sophomore he simply has to have his own car... . The prospects next year are ter- rible. Why, half the squad graduated and the rest are ineligible... . You don’t need to believe me, but I saw them take it off the boat myself, and I wouldn't tell you unless. . . And you're the first boy I've ever One of Ringling’s seals returns to the Arctic. kissed. 4 comicbooks.com