Judge — January 25, 1930 — page 22: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Basis for an Appeal “Prisoner at the bar, the record shows you have escaped from three institutions, It is the judgment ourt that you spend the rest of your life in a prison you will not get out “Wait a minute, judge! ‘That ain't wot you m “It isn’t tainly is!” Well, my man, it cer- “Oh, nonononono, judge! I can’t believe it!” “You will!” “LT never will, judge. Youse ain't the kinda guy would do that!” “You e heard the se ure, judge. But. . , judge, please!” I direct that you serve the rest of your life in a prison you will not get out of!” “Oh, nononono, judge! that sentence ain't right “What's wrong with it? “Judge, it ends with a preposition!” —Cuer Jounsonx You know The Perfect Kibitzer A financial expert is a man who can write financial advice in such ambigu- ous terms that no matter what hap- pens he can say, “I told you so.” AON JUDGE Beastly Rimes The Goat Bleatingly he roams all over the lot, On natural history's ‘scuteheon: a blot. He blah-blah-blahs the day long like a Zanny, Assisted by the missus, Madame lot of folk one meets Bab willy-nilly on their way. One watches goats upon their rocky ridge And wonders why they don’t play contract bridge. —Grorce Mitcuere Love ’Em and Leave ’Em Pensively he sat and stared at the dancing flames in the hearth, his mind . Agnes, Mabel had sworn eter- nal devotion to cach of them, and each had promised she would love him for » doubt he had broken their hearts, Agnes, with her golden hair and dreamy blue eyes. The last letter she wrote him he had not troubled to answer. Poor little girl! She had trusted in him so... . Then there was Mabel, slender, dark and spirited. Her letter, too, lay in some drawer—unanswered. Cal lously, without a single qualm at the time, he had shattered her faith... . And Vivian—there was one from her, admonishing him not to forget. who was tall and stately and fair, who expected so much from him. He had ignored her letter, just as he had the others, No doubt their hearts were broken. But he would make restitution at once. Yes, the three summonses he had received that day convinced him that it was the only thing to do. All of his © es were evidently depend- ing on the alimony checks he had not yet sent them, —Orsonvo Rouains “I THINK 'LL TAKE THE DOTTED SWISS,” DECIDED THE DOWAGER Here's your theme song, fast feeders: “Glutton Up Your Overcoat “Oh, Jake dear!” sang his square’s voice from the kitchen, “I'll put your shirt on the clothes-horse!” “Well, what odds did you Yeah, her eyebrows are all right, but ellipses got too much red get?” challenged old Beetlebrain. on "em. 20 comicbooks.com