Judge — January 18, 1930 — page 27: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE Se \AIGr Skoal! Pacnxe his hihat-iron, filling his hot- water bottle full of waters of the Gordon, and whistling to Mac, Junior icft for Atlantic City, the Long Beach of the Jersey Coast by Royal Appoint- ment. The idea was triple-plated. First, this slightly Medicated Number required a piece about Health, Second, Junior had been writing about so many unhealthy places like night clubs, it looked like a good chance to Ict a whiff of good, clean writing blow across the page and clear away a lot of evil impressions. Third, Junior wanted a rest from his ardu- ous duties and a chance to pick up a little Health himself. But after three days, did Junior get his rest and health Did he? He did not. He got so much boredom he de- cided to die young. This is how the story went. Rising daily at three pip emma, he and Mac sent Mac's Scottie, “Boopodoop ,” out for an airing. When the dog returned and pulled all the covers off, Jeff and Junior had their dip. Wrapping ther selves well in their coonskins, they descended on the oc The beach w plentifully strewn with young idiots known as Polar Bears, who had broken the ice and were splash- ing around like July. Junior took the temperature of the water with the Hihat Offi- cial Thermome- HOW WE eT ter, given him by Heactey i“ the Sultan of pacers Turkey. The Me ~ first day the water proved just three de- grees cooler than a Nathan review. The sccond day the thermometer froze. Which ended that. Thernafter Junior and Jeff confined their Byrd bath to breaking ice inside of glasses. After the dip they decided on a few kilometers of that inspiring and healthy, exercise they'd promised them- selves: footing, as the French say. So Junior and Jeti walked from the hotel lobby to the wheel-chair depart- ment on the boardwalk and into a wickerwork rolling gondola. They learned that the Whalen stagger plan brodied at A. C., so they spent the better part of an hour trying to find that sh! sh! on Kentucky Avenoo, which ot the wheelboy so excited he pushed the chair right over the edge of the boardwalk. Junior fell into the arms of a swell red-and-yaller nymph a sand artist had just com- pleted, and had to buy the artist’s whole collection to ke him from committing hari-kari. He put the collection in a bag and took it | Mac hung the items in nice frames on the floor, but it didn’t work out so well. ee 1 ANATS Anyway, they got so saturated with art Junior and Jeff dropped into one of the local auction parlors to watch the Persian rugs, period pieces and what- nots go under the gavel. Mac unfor- tunately was in his hiccups and, before he knew it, he was the owner of a charming little 450-lb. chunk of pas- sionate marble. He used it later to lug around the Ceety whenever he felt the need of exercise. Which wasn’t often. Then there was the deep-sea fishing. It cost forty cents. One haul of the mile-square nets netted one ecl, one white- fish, three soles, a sea robin and a copy of the American Boy. Junior fell in the net trying to catch the eel, but pulled back by someone who didn’t care much WINE BUYS E Piclikes FROM THE SAND ARTST AND WHIOR 1S THE OF one way or the other. Although the catch in total was only twen! five lbs:, every body went away swearing it was a ton and a h and telling their friends about the ones that got away. Thus are fishermen born. Of course, too, there was the beach-combing, which con- sists of combing the sand for jewelry, money, buttons and the lost trains of the Erie. Mac tried hard to get enough to pay our hotel bill. And, oh, yes, the new Coliseum. Mac and Junior dropped into it several times looking for a convention, but they weren't having any. Rope that! Atlantic City with- out a convention! Like an Elk without a tooth! In desperation Junior and Mac put on their own convention. A Medical Convention. It consisted of Junior getting up on the stage and telling about his operation, while Mac sat alone in the 456th row and hissed. Then Mac got up and told about his plan for decreasing the French debt, which had something to do with the French paying off America in pretty girls, but Junior fell asleep and never got it straight. If Mr. Owen B. Young wants further details, he can write in, There wasn’t much else to the place except an imitation deck of a ship on the boredwalk, on which you could (Continued on page 32) aS comicbooks.co Pani oe