Judge — January 4, 1930 — page 24: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

eas rains “Remember—now, doctor—no cutting up.” —Russ Kine, Minnesota (indefinitely) The Collegiate Credo No. 3 Ninety-nine out of every hundred students believe: That Yale men spend their leisure time either in drinking beer or in lean- ing on the so-called Yale fence. That a student from California would not deign to speak to one from Florida and vice versa. That University of Texas students all wear cowboy hats. That every Vassar could get a job in the chorus of George White's Scandals. at Ohio Wesleyan students are all ministers. That no University of Virginia stu- dent has ever been heard to pronounce the “r” in “sir.” That Northwestern University is somewhere in the Northwest. That Howard University was so called that it might be confused with Harvard. That there has never been a pro- nounceable name in the line-ups of C. C. N.Y. athletic teams. That Lafayette and Lehigh are two different names for the same college. That in order to get into Penn State one must at least have raised a field of corn. That every Wellesley student would he on the varsity crew if she were at a man’s colle That all Stanford graduates become engineers and later President of the United States. That there is no such university as Chattano —Artuvr Sitversratr, Harvard ’30 P. S.—He Got the Job Professor Peabody, the eminent sci- entist, was busy preparing his expedi- tion for the South Se: He planned to be away for two years to finish the book that he had been working on. He had advertised for an assistant, a man of literary inclinations who could as- sist him. Today a young, sandy-haired man stood before him. “So you're willing to give up two years of your life for this the professor asked. “Yes, sir,” the applicant responded. The professor meditated. “You know,” he said fi you'll be cut off ent Clever—no end! —P.C, Lewis, Lehigh '31 literary connections? You know that down ‘there in the South you won't be able to read the latest books? You'll be cut off from all contempo- rary literature. You won't be able to new plays or hear good music. You'll be among a strange people, a people who haven't forgotten and never will forget their ancestors. You will have to resign yourself to the fact that you and learning and literature will be strangers. The young man nodded. He seemed perfectly self-possessed. “Yes,” he said, “I'm used to all that. You see, I've been living in Bos- ton for four years!" —Anrtuer Sitverstatt, Harvard ’30 2 Foreign Matter Teacher—Now, Abie, use the past tense of the verb “go.” Abie—Oll uf a sodden the man gave vent to his feelings. —Natuan Torts, Jr, Colgate ’32 Simile As popular as the co-ed who re- ceives complimentary tickets to the college dances, —R. Prestry Stevensc The big Wall Street man who was formerly known as “Midas” called “Minus.” —W.E. Banixoen, U. of Illinois *31 is now Slogan for Radio Announcers He laughs best who doesn’t laugh at all. —Thomas J. Rivey, Columbia "30 “This is going to be good,” said the father as he led his son into the re- form school. —P. C. Lewis, Lehigh °31 “T'll stake you to this,” offered the king. —Rowraxn Lyos George Washington U. '29 comicbooks.com