Judge — January 4, 1930 — page 15: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Important Announcement for 1930 Judge’s Law Enforcement Campaign Cash Paid for the Best Examples of Laws Not Obeyed Rives to start the New Year right and proper, the old gentleman on the bench hereby announces his 1930 cam n for law enforcement. Deeply eved by the growing lawlessness of his fellow-citizens, he proposes to Do Something About It, He will pay his readers for assistance. His offer is as follows: Five dollars each will be paid for the best ex- amples of laws which are on the books of feders state, county, city or village governments and which ure not being generally obeyed and enforced. The sort of laws which this campaign is designed to cover will be indicated by the following examples, re- cently quoted by Leo Hentley in the New York Journal: treet-car conductors in Los Angeles must not shoot -rabbits from the platform, In Seattle salt must not be sprinkled on the sidewalk to melt snow. a man on the back is illegal in Georgia. a girl under the chin with a feather duster is illegal in Portland. Twin beds must be placed two feet or more : North Carolina, Traveling more than twenty miles to church is illegal in New York State, while in Massachusetts it is against the law to travel anywhere on Sunday “except for charity or necessity.” one will be so bold as to deny that every one of the laws is being flagrantly disobeyed every day! What laws are being similarly flouted in your own city, on your own street, perhaps within your own household? Are you patriotic enough to help us find out, especially when we'll pay you five dollars for every one printed? part in Suggestions and Conditions Go to your own city hall, state capitol, police station or public library, get copies of the statutes or ordinances, copy out any laws that you know are not being enforced and consult the proper public officials to make certain that they have not been repealed. Write down and send us a statement of the essence of the law in one short sentence, naming the locality in which it applies. Please be sure that you get it straight, and that the law still stands on the books. For if we should print an erroneous statement with your name attached, not only should we have wasted five dollars, but you would look sort of ridiculous in the eyes of your neighbors. This is a bona fide offer. Five dollars for every neg- lected law that we can print. Send ‘em along. Be sure to give your name and address. Those contributions not used will be thrown away, The campaign continues until formally declared closed. Address Judge on the Bench, 18 East 48th Street, New York. “Our Candidates Always Win” O : the authority of General Smedley T. Butler, in those backward countries where our marines have the situ- ation in hand, “our candidates always win.” Butler chuckled with gl he told a Pittsburgh crowd how it was done in Nicaragua. “We rounded up 400 voters we could depend on, gave five minutes’ notice of the election and closed the polls as soon as the 400 had voted. The opposition didn’t have a chance iti, he marines installed as “secretary of public instruct barber who couldn't even write his own name. In China, “whenever a Chinese leader got to be a nuisance to the American marines in the recent revolution, he was taken up in a marine airplane. Then we dropped one of our bombs and let him see what it meant. He wasn't so bothersome after that.” Let these boastful confessions be recorded in the memo- ries of all who value the honor of the United States. The next time anybody tells you that our marines are in this or that country because the natives have shown their in- ability to govern themselves, or because of a treaty, or vitation of the native government, remember that the joker is that “our candidates always win.” Remember it especially when the time comes for a vote on the resolution granting independence to the Philippines and when the commission on our rule in Haiti makes its report. Bible vs. Biology A®°t ner college tes his trust in biology ard College i dents, “! cher has been fired because he put ather than the Bible. At How- labama, Dr. Horace Day said to his stu- ¢ some people so ignorant that they still believe that Noah crowded two of each species of a into k during the flood. How these animals into the ark? Ha Noah, he took up Jonah, and said that having studied whales, he had found it impossible for them to swallow a man whole, and that further, no man could live long inside a whale. Two professors left the hall. A student rose and, brandishing his Bible, said, “I hope God will bless you and show you your mists And his fellows then went out and knelt in long prayer efor the soul of Dr. Day. Then the college asked for the heretic’s resignation and got it... . Yes, you may not believe it, but this is the year 1930, and this is the land of universal education and R.JLW, imals puld he have got all ing thus disposed of ng comicbooks.com