Judge, 1930-01-04 · page 11 of 36
Judge — January 4, 1930 — page 11: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Judge Magazine Page Analysis This page contains three distinct pieces of satire: **"Revised Songs of the Colleges"** parodies college fight songs, satirizing how universities now financially exploit alumni. The verses mock Princeton, Cornell, and Harvard for openly demanding money from graduates and paying athletes enormous sums ("Three thousand bucks to Left Guard"). The satire targets the commercialization of college sports and fundraising, likely referencing the Carnegie Report mentioned in the subtitle—apparently a report on college athletics that exposed such practices. **"Up in the Air"** is a brief joke about airplane travel. A nervous passenger fears the height; the blasé aviator dismisses the danger casually. **"Men I Am Not Interested In"** is a humorous list (credited as parody of Carroll Carroll's work) cataloging types of men a woman rejects—ranging from cavemen to "old flames" and her ex-husband. It's social commentary on dating preferences and male stereotypes. **"The Dumbest Girl in the World"** is a one-liner joke: a woman mistakes "Mack Trucks" (the vehicle brand) for a Scottish person, playing on her supposed stupidity.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
JUDGE “Her drummer bo Revised Songs of the Colleges (Based Upon the Carnegie Report) Princeton Drain every pocket, every purse. Bid evi Scot withdraw, While we with one accord disburse The pay for old Nassau. And pay for old Nassau, my boys, Hurrah! Hurr: Hurrah! Her sons shall give while they shall live Their rolls for old Nassau! Cornett Hark to the clank of the gold in the bank And the screams as the old grads yield! “Pay them well!” comes the yell from the men of Cornell As the big red team takes the field. Three thousand bucks to Left Guard MeSnucks And the same to McBeek at right. We'll go broke if we must! Beat the Penn team or bust As we spend for the red and white! Harvard Signed and sealed in flaming crimson, Harvard contracts buy. Clause on clause of legal phrases All her athletes tie. See, the crimson tide is turning, Earning more and more! Then fight, fight, fight, for you're paid tonight! Harvard's bankroll forevermore! —Banon Istaxp Up in the Air Timid Passenger (looking down)— It’s a long to the ground! Bored Aviator—Naw—just a stone's throw. “There’s a bell-hop coming, Spike. him you're my wife!” 9 Men I Am Not Interested In (Apologies to Carroll Carroll) Cavemen ... chorus men... men about town men with beards ... men with mustaches, including John Gilbert... men who wear suspenders - men who read the Mercury .. men who ri College Humor n who s. | rightie . .. men who say For the simple reason that . men who You need someone dominate you... men... fat men Englishmen . . namen . Theodore the funn to efreshingly frank thin men... . Frenchmen . . . Chi- - + Graham McNamee... Dreiser men who tell did when tight. speed cops... ind of cops... landlords . . . dentists... men who talk sex... men who don’t talk about sex... men who have wives ...men who have uirl-friends . .. men who say darlin’ . men any term of acquaint- ble soda clerks . . . lo- us hairdressers . . . old flames + my ex-husband. — arias D. The Dumbest Girl in the World She thinks Mack Trucks is a Scotch- man, at very short acquaintance . . who ay babe + soci: Quick, put this on, and I'll tell comicbooks.com