Judge — December 21, 1929 — page 20: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Soromox—IWho invented Christmas, anyway? How Interest in Symphony Broadcasts Might Be Increased “Ladies and gentlemen, we are about to broadcast a blow-by-blow, scrape-by-scrape and toot-by-toot ac- count of the championship battle be- tween Beethoven's 17th Symphony in D Flat and the Phooey Philharmonic Orchestra. The orchestra has just fin- ished tuning up and the director is holding up his baton. Folks, he looks grim! He looks mad! This i ing to be some fight, folks, and [I wish you could be here... There they go! “The orchestra is starting out cau- tiously! . . . Right now it fooks rather tame, but... Ah! ... They landed rights and lefts and a couple of short pizzacatos! They're wading right in no’ . And here come the violas! .. t’s the second fiddles! hey just put over three andantes moder: and they hurt, too! Oh! ... That was a beaut! ... One of the trumpeters just missed! . . . He's trying It's a high one... aint... a high one!... His » No, it isn’t He made it! A high ( aned it right on the nose! ... trombones are gett . +. They're The Z into action now! ing all over the place, but they haven't’ fallen’ yet!... “Listen to that!...Oh!. 2. [wish you could see him! . . . It’s Piccolo Pete! ... No, it’s Niccolo! . .. He's blowing like a porpoise! . . . His eye are popping! ... He looks we: just about : and his eyes are pop ...Ah!... He saved himself! ... Stopped just at the right time and his eyes are o. k. now... Ph - Folks, that was real excitement, real excitement! , “Oh, bo} The clarinets just grabbed an allegro on a trick play and ran twenty-four bars to a caden i No!... Something’s wrong! The di- rector has waved them back!. . . “It's nearly over now!... They're all going like demons! The director is tellin exhausted! . up!. them to go faster! ... He looks . But he's not giving olks, he’s putting up the «Oh, fight of his li !. ow the fiddles are out in front!... The ‘cellos are after them! .. . There goes Pic Pete again! ... He's 1 “ run around left end! ... He’s going to blow a low note! ... No, it’s a blue note! .. 6 / A perfect blue note! .. . The director looks out on his feet! He's just reeling around and pawing at the air, but he won't give up!. ‘re all wading in now! s fight! .. . It's They'll never ‘Il never. . There went the fight is over a free-for-a And it was a draw, folks! It was a aw, and the audience seems satisfied with the de ... But from the ringsic the way it looked like Beethoven, all —Cuet Jounxsox | “What's all that confounded noise down there?” “It's me, sir—I thought you might forget me—Merry Christmas!” 18 comicbooks.com