Judge — December 14, 1929 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE “What are you going to do about curves?” Wonder What a Professional Santa Claus Thinks About (Bowing to Briggs) DING-A-LING! DING-A-LING! Merry Christ folks! (Merry Christmas! Th laff. Ain't very merry for me. Eight hours a day on my feet. Thirty bucks a week, What a break!) Yes, VM brin ou a Shet- land pony and cleetrie trains. (A fine four-flusher I am, promising presents to the kids, and I don’t know where next week's board will come from.) DING-A-LING! DING-A-LING! (These whiskers are tickling the life Wonder who invented this aus racket anyhow? I'd like t th nd stuff my cotton srs down his throat.) DING-A- LING! DING-A-LING! A talkin doll for you, little lad Surest thing in the world. No, I won't forget! (There I go again, deceiving that sweet little girl Oh, boy, but I'll be glad to get back to the shipping de- partment after Christmas. Never again. If the sk me to be Santa ‘laus next year, I'll quit ’em cold. Yes, sir! Somebody else will have he the goat. Thirty bucks a And me working in the store for cight years! It's an outrage. Christmas spirit, Ha! ha! Know any more jokes?) DIN -LING! DING-A- LING! Merry Christmas, kiddies, and just tell Santa what you want. DING-A-LINC DING-A-LINC —Artiur L, Lippaann 11 To the Noise-Abatement Committee I love the peace of a country place, The restfulness and quiet, With never a breath and never a trace Of sound except the riot Of a radio; where you can sleep To the jazz of a phonograph, Or a barking dog, or a bleating sheep, Or the ery of a yearling calf. I love the calm of a country house In the cool of stilly morns When you can laze and doze and grouse At the honking motor horns. I like such peace For ease and The rat-tat-tat of a riveter By the New York Central Station! —Winrrrn J. Puxk Ra