Judge, 1929-11-30 · page 11 of 36
Judge — November 30, 1929 — page 11: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Judge Magazine Page Analysis This page from Judge contains several satirical pieces targeting American society and politics: **"Things We'd Like to Know"** presents humorous observations about everyday oddities—jewelry store clocks always showing 8:20, illegible waiter handwriting, and absurd racehorse naming conventions. **"Thanksgiving-Day Game"** is a poem by Carroll Carroll satirizing fair-weather football fans, mocking those who attend games for social status ("fellows with pull") rather than genuine enthusiasm, and those who prioritize eating holiday dinner over actually watching the game. **"South of the Equator"** cartoon depicts an American tourist observing gunfire, assuming it's a presidential salute but noting the shots seem poorly aimed—likely satirizing either Latin American political instability or the incompetence of foreign militaries. The final item mocks extraction specialists' advertising slogans, while another brief joke suggests spinach canneries produce sandpaper as a byproduct—pure absurdist humor typical of Judge's style.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Things We’d Like to Know Why the painted clocks hanging in front of jewelry stores always read twenty minutes after eight. If ferry-boat captains pull down graft from the p ng companies. Whether all waiters are naturally had writers, or if they study to be- come so illegible. How men who figure on being shot to the moon in a rocket plan to come back, If race horses couldn't run just as well if their names seemed to make a little sense. The chorus of George White's Scandals. Thanksgiving-Day Game When the stadium's full of the fellows with pull And the band has the stand in a grand sort of roar; Will you thrill (and be chilly through Clothing of wool) ? Will you scream as your team on the field starts to score? When the pigskin gocs smack in the arms of a ba (At the click of a kick that’s been gotten off fast), Will you rear-up and cheer-up and make your voice crack When you sce he is free for a touch- down at last? When the run that has done for the game ends the fun Will you hustle and tussle to get on the field? Will you riot or quietly hear that it’s done As you stroke where your holiday dinner’s concealed? Will you bother and work to get seats or eat turk Will you pack in a grandstand or pack in mince pie? Will you starve or be carving a bird with a dirk, ‘ Tuned in on the game like a sensi- ble g —Carroty Carnore i gested slogan for extraction fi z Spe ists: The whole tooth, and SA : nothing but the tooth! South of the Equator Finst American Tountst—Ilear that racket? It’s the President's We may be all wrong, but we sus- salute. pect sandpaper of being a by-product “H'm—don’t look like they even aimed at him.” of spinach canneries.