Judge — November 2, 1929 — page 23: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

1 Know a Girl. . She thinks Walt Whitman is in the candy business, that Oliver Wendell Holmes runs an electric burglar alarm company, and that Robert Stevenson is an arctic explorer, but she says she’s just overwhelmed when she thinks of the great old writers. When [ asked her if she liked Longfellow’s works she said no, She said she preferred men who wrote short she only read before going to sleep, and if the work was very long she never finished it. It is her opinion that: Ralph Waldo Emerson is the president of the Bromo-Seltzer Co., that Eugene Marshall Field's in Chicago, and that James Russell Lowell wrote The Cradle of the Deep.” I started to mention Anatole France, and she stopped me by isking me please not to tell her about Anatole. She said she'd never been on the Rivie: and rant, some day, to go there and take a villa at Anatole, and she didn’t want me to spoil her pleas- ure by telling her about it. She thinks that) Dumas is French for two mothers, and that Bret Harte is a disease something like athlete’s heart. She is firmly convinced that Lafeadio Hearn runs a depart- ment New York, that Byron was a Fundamentalist and Democrat who ran for president several times but never got elect- ed, that Keats are little children, and that Shelley is an adjective used to describe lobster au gra- tin. Mention Lewis Carroll to her, and she'll tell you he writes pieces about a girl who akes the most impossible blun- ders. She says she's sure this Carroll person doesn’t know any such girl and that he makes them all up himself, —Carrott Carrore Louis things as Field is connected with mn store in Mexican Joke (Translated) getting near clection time. Have you contributed to the campaign fun “Yes. Two machine guns and a hundred rounds tion.” “It’s of ammuni- JUDGE (DOsmaVOURbERTEVEm ITE Os REQuesT PROF. COLLIER, WiLL NOT led over the site of an ancient temple. Whoever touc formed a dish of his letter mailed in “fasmonia. yester- day, without address or stamp, wes ue- livered to me promptly lost evening . FURNISH PROOF OF ANYTHING, Pedro Sebastion Garcia Don Zambisko DeTamale of Yorora M Mexico as m Qreat, great 8 th ? grondfather. be Bobble, champion slugger the Juda. Wis. Orwles struck out Five’ times in three times ot but, mode su home runs, two triples and ®u: reached first. bu: gles. He never se bul scored. three rus after tivee men were out in the last holf of the ninth with the bases loaded, His team lost’ the game by a score of one to nothin, ity! 4 454 gol ()