Judge — November 2, 1929 — page 18: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE The Synthetic Southland Four solemn, elderly gentle- men, wearing the conventional frock coat of big business, sat round a mahogany table in the directors’ room of the Rel Sun Tan Co., Inc. On the ce of the table rested a jar of tan. The directors puffed on their fifty-cent cigars, knitted their brows in deep thought and said nothing. At length the president broke the tense silence “Gentlemen,” he said in a pom- pous voice, “we're coming to our very best season of the year and THE SPELL OF THE YUKON I am open for suggestions which will increase the sales of our drug line. As you know, this stuff is every bit as good as a month in Florida and not nearly so expensive. I believe we should add a few more ns to sell ong with our Sun The vice-president s: about a box of gnat-bi son could stick a few on and say, ‘I just come back from Miami. I'm all bit up. Look at them gnat-bites. “You mean if he'd never been inside a school!” said the secre- tary, scowling. THERE IN THE BARREN WASTE TWO STRONG MEN BATTLED FOR A FRAIL LITTLE DANCER’S LOVE We will now have the pleasure of seeing Hugo Uruguay shot out of a cannon and coming up with his mouth full of ill-con- cealed oafs. “Hey, you forgot to foot it up here!” bawled the paying-teller, pointing at the cashier’s statement. “No, I was tired, so I took a tazi,” stammered the cluck rapidly absconding with heavy sugar. Man the gig, boys, we're off to the Dry Tortugas to swing Sir Henry Morgan from the yard-arm! about in “Well, put it your own way,” replied the vice-president, “but I still think we could sell a mil- lion boxes of gnat-bites without no effort.” The treasurer said: “How about a jar of orange cream to be applied to the corners of the mouth? Then you could tell the in Palm Beach ML winter.” ndy idea,” said the president. “And we could put it out in all flavors: grapefruit, lemon and The vice sident said: “We could even direct the purchaser to rub it in back of his ears, he could say he was away for a long time.” “T tell you, fellows,” said the secretary, enthusiastically, “what ation lumps?” The treasurer looked worried. “You mean in oatmeal?” he “No, no, no! To paste on your head as though a cocoanut ‘allen on you in St. Augus- “T have it!" exclaimed the see- retary, pounding the table with his fist. “A package of tablets which can be dissolved in water to make people think you'd been ta pon fishing off the Florida Keys “Pooh!” said the treasurer. “You can get the same effect by running a hook through your ext and sliding down a rope till the skin comes off your fingers.” “Yes, but you can’t sell that by the jar,” replied the president. “I'm in favor of a lotion of sand and glue to lend the effect of romping onthe beach at Nassau,” volunteered the president. “Rubbed in the hair and with a sprig of seaweed over each ear it would make a nice southern trip,” replied the secretary. The treasurer said: ‘But sup- pose someone rubbed it on his face by mistake?” hen he could say that he'd spent a month at Daytona Beach snapping back at sand fleas,” an- swered the secretary. The treasurer said: “Did you ever pour ordinary table salt down your neck instead of going to Bermuda? It’s the 3. The president said: The meeting is adjourned.” —Jack Crvetr —_) sins aE comicbooks.com