Judge — October 26, 1929 — page 26: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

The Wise Class The minister was questioning his Sunday-school class. Now can any of you tell me the name of the } where we'll all go if wi h ked. the minister n immense place are good ‘IL describe went on. “It's where huge golden pillars rise high above you. The air is per- fumed, and soft music plays con- |v. Now can any of you tell chorused the —G.S.M. The Dullard “Really, Mr. Hutton, I don’t know what to make of you. You're the most refractory stu- dent in the school, s Look at the others—all of them are talk- ing a blue streak and cutting up dreadfully; but you never talk or cut up a bit. Honestly, Mr. Hutton, if you won't even try to remember the things I've told you, I don’t see why you ever came to this barber's college.” —O.~ R. [ Beastly Rimes The Monkey Long ago, when the world was Flat And the moon was made of nt cheese, ientific thought was that e were one with the chim- panzees, Of course we've changed a lot since then, And yet there are times when onc may ask: Which are monkeys, which are men? And find the answer a difficult task. —Gronor Mircurer | The Best Short “Stories” of 1929 “Just as IT was washing up to atch the fiv teen, one of my biggest accounts from Ch ‘phoned that he was in town of course I had to take him out to dinner and a show.” “TI tried to get you on the tele- phone from fi rty until after cight o’clock to tell you that I had to stay in the office. I would h telegraphed you, darling, but I wa! id it would frighten you.” “Joe Foley told me that he met Mrs. Clinton, and he told Mrs. Clinton to tell her maid to tell Olga that Joe and I to go over to Newark to look at a new factory site. I can’t understand why you didn’t get the message.” “Of course, you found hair pins in the back of the car, Pop. But doesn’t it occur to you that mother has never had her hair bobbed?” “Do you promise to love, honor and ob ie “Ido! Antuve L, Lippmann OYSTERS QUALMS NO MA‘AM WE HAVE NO QUALMS TODAY FALTERED THE FISHMONGER Bring my fan mail into the conversation room, Grimes, I think I shall be languid today. “Are these eggs fresh?” gr mured the hen-fruit custodian, “the hen don't even know I got ’em yet led Mrs. Typical House: e. “Lady,” mur- Oh, Mr. Hairdresser, did you mean what you said about our hair having the same vibrations? a | acca nai