Judge, 1929-10-26 · page 11 of 36
Judge — October 26, 1929 — page 11: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Explanation for Modern Readers This Judge magazine page contains three distinct humorous pieces: **"Helping Hands"** (left) satirizes pre-surgical anxiety. A patient about to have an appendectomy receives contradictory, alarming advice from well-meaning friends who recount horror stories about anesthesia complications, incompetent doctors, and surgical mishaps. The joke is how such "helpful" reassurance actually terrifies the patient more. **"Another One You Wouldn't Care To Meet"** (right) describes an idealized woman—beautiful, accomplished, multilingual—yet concludes you'd avoid meeting her because she's a reckless driver. The satire critiques how even "perfect" women can have fatal flaws, and specifically mocks dangerous female drivers, a common stereotype of the era. **"Every Little Nook in Granny"** (bottom) appears to be a caption for an illustration involving a printing press ("composing-room") and characters named Ichabod and Freda. The exact satirical point is unclear from the fragmented text, but seems related to printing or publishing work.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
have got him!” “Helping Hands” Just before your appendiz comes out. “Why, it's no more of an oper- ation than pulling a tooth, That is, unless septic poisoning sets in.” “If you were only nineteen or twenty, I wouldn’t worry a parti- cle. You come back pretty fast at that age. Of course, the older you are, the more strain it is.” “I didn’t mind the cutting—it was the ether that got me. Golly, it makes you sick! Why even to- day my insides stand on their heads and crack their heels to- gether if I get a whiff of it.” “What doctor have you got— Wyman?) Why, that crook will pry the gold out of your back teeth while you're unconscious! Now, if you'd only let me get Mike Donohue in time... .” “You ought to be out in two weeks, unless complications de- velop. Never can tell, when they lay you open to the breezes, just what they're going to find, though.” “Don’t let "em leave any of their garden tools inside when they you up. Man, I read about a doc that left a chisel and two spools of thread inside a guy once, and what he went through was nobody's business!" —Staxtry Jones “I saw him in here a couple of days ago—the moths must JUDGE Another One You Wouldn't Care To Meet You wouldn't care to meet Ara- bella. No relation to Marvin. Charming girl, though. Beautiful too. Speaks seven langu Dresses swell. Eats home, mostly. ‘Talented; plays the radio like an expert. Plays golf and tennis like nobody's business. A lovely Loves nice things. 1. And yet you wouldn't care to meet her. Expensive? Well, not so very. Has everything, so you don't need to buy her anything. Drives a car; her own and a fine one. Yet you wouldn't care to meet That is, not if you drive r too. Maybe she'll learn in time, but until then give her plenty of room, —R. C. O'Brien A friend of ours recently toured all thru Ircland without a puncture. He attributes his luck to having Kellys all around. EVERY LITTLE NOOK IN GRANNY HAS A MEANING ALL ITS OWN SAID FRITZ Needles to say, it is easier to thread a camel than to put the cart before the horse. “Yes, ma’am, this is the composing-room,” indicated Ichabod, Prince of Printers and jolly good fellow withal. “Isn't that thrilling!” fluttered Freda, “Won't you sing something you've composed recently, Mr. Valspar?