Judge, 1929-10-19 · page 10 of 36
Judge — October 19, 1929 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# "The Substitute" and Football Culture in Judge Magazine This page contains two football-themed pieces satirizing early 20th-century college sports culture. **"The Substitute"** is a humorous poem (illustrated above) about a benchwarmer who finally gets his chance to play. Despite initial fumbling, he scores the winning touchdown—a classic underdog-makes-good narrative. The satire appears directed at movie serials and sports cinema, with the concluding line "Another film's completed" suggesting this plot was already a tired Hollywood cliché. **"Football Stars"** is a lengthy satirical list of annoying spectator types at games—the girlfriend wanting to leave early, the drunk with a flask, the know-it-all commentator, the person blocking your view, the girl asking favors at crucial moments. It's social satire mocking both nouveau riche fans and dating culture anxieties. **"Rushing Season"** (bottom) is a brief joke about a student claiming he "slept in [his] room" to avoid school, likely implying hangover or laziness around football season. The overall message critiques how football had become embedded in American popular culture—both on screen and in social behavior.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
| f - a BER The Substitute | | ‘The stands are filled, the rooters roar. A spectacle resplendent. We need six points to tie the } score. The other team’s ascendant. The substitute is on the bench. A chance to score appr His eyes dilate, his fingers cl (And likewise do the co: ches! | “Go in and try to save the day } His cheerless mentor grumbies, We He dashes madly to the fray, And, luckless mortal, fumbles. \j Then gets the ball and runs to | fame. The enemy's defeated. Another hero's won a game. —Another film's completed. —Parke Cumsines This year’s improvement on the tackling dummy has helped to pep up the squad. “Yellow! That's what you guys are!” 4 guy: Football Stars The girl who wants to leave at the end of the third quarter... the guy with the pint of gin who insists on yelling just as the an- nouncer is functioning . . . the sophomore who tries to get a piece of the goal post after the . the girl who wants to at a fullback is and which team scored it... th f next to you who diagnoses e play aloud .. . the quaint person who insists on leaving before the end of the game and who stands in front of you just when a for- ward pass is being attempted . . . the good-hearted boy who socks you on the head with his flask every time the team gains a yard ... the motherly old soul behind you who continually happening . . . th ning feather boy asks what's ck your win- the fat zany who bought only therefore occupies two thirds of yours... the girl who asks you to get her a blanket from ‘the car just as the team is making « goalpost stand. —Antuvr Siuvenniarr Rushing Season First Football Man— You weren't to school yesterday, were you, Bert? Sreconn Hero— in my room, Naw, I slept 8