Judge — September 28, 1929 — page 34: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Auld Acquaintance Bob—Step up, Bill; it’s time to kiss the bride. Bill—You're wrong. It's time for me to quit. —Detroir News Fred Allen relates that at a re- cent opening : show the audience, almost to hissed the proceedings, exe chap who kept applauding. Final- ly, the fellow next to him, who had been hissing from the over- ture to the end of Act 2, turned to the applauder and said: “You mean to tell me that you have the nerve to encour: such rotten acting?” . “Rotten acting, hell!” said the Oxo Gextermaxn—Why don’t you give the child something to hand-pounder, “I'm applauding play with, and not let him keep howling like that? . the hissing!” —Minnon urse—It’s rather more difficult than you think. He wants Albert Memorial. Hesonisr First Golfer (telling fish story) —He was about as long as that ‘ inst diive of yours, | The Great Open Spaces Second Golfer!—Oh, really! eo I've roamed on the steppes and “Yes, so I threw him back.” fee the pampas; —Pwinson’s | z, I've lived in the jungle and wood; 7 "Neath the Matterhorn’s crest I Mistress (to new maid)—It = have taken my rest; scems to me you want very large ‘| a On the trackless Sahara I've wages for one who has had so : _ stood, little experience. : , oy I've been in all climes and all Maid — But, mum, ain't it : places, harder for me when I don't know = And most to the memory are how? —Pranson’s \ 6 : dear; ) But the place I hate most is the A typist evidently thinks the ‘ i space with the post bell on her typewriter rings when . ! Fai That registers: “No Parking she reaches the end of every line ; * om Here.” to remind her to powder her The builder orders his lunch. née, Kav Fearones wear kene cae Gants To the sun-smitten isles I'm no stranger; In the north where the wind’s Like a knife, I've laughed at its roar on the Labrador shore, And thought this a wonderful life. But I’m back in the regions of comfort, And the knowledge elicits a tear; Though I'm glad not to roam, it’s most sad to come home To a spot that says: “No Park- ing Here.” —Lonpon Opinion Fourteen inns in Surrey are called “The Jolly Farmer.” Pre- sumably there was one once. —Tir Bits ‘esterday I refused a poor woman a small sum of money “What is the technical charge and couldn't sleep all night, I kept hearing her voice asking for swearing and using foul lan- for it. It was awful.” guage in a public place?” “What a tender conscience you ‘ave. Who was the woman?” “Impersonating an officer.” “My wife.” —Passixe Snow —Tonoxto Gostix EOWARD LANGER PRINTING CO. INC, JAMAICA, N. T comicbooks.com