Judge, 1929-08-10 · page 9 of 36
Judge — August 10, 1929 — page 9: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Judge Magazine Satire Analysis This page satirizes American protectionist tariff policy (likely the Fordney-McCumber Tariff era of the 1920s). The main text mock-seriously proposes absurd trade restrictions: banning imported porcupines and hollow wooden horses, and flooding Holland with American boys to plug dike leaks—all framed as economic solutions protecting American workers. The "Don't You Believe It!" cartoon mocks credulous citizens accepting outlandish claims about tariff benefits. The accompanying sketches present bizarre "improvements" from the tariff: an upside-down man, a two-headed cow, and a horse that survived cannon fire—visual nonsense suggesting the policy produces only ridiculous results. The final letter from "Thyra Samovar Perelman" shifts tone, humorously complaining about bathroom overcrowding, with a dig at "Prussian uhlans" (cavalry soldiers), likely referencing post-WWI anxieties about foreign presence. The satire targets protectionist economic policies as economically irrational while playing on period xenophobia.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
JUDGE with the cheap foreign substitute and let our slogan be “Native porcupines for America’s dinner table!” or failing that, “Porcu pines with first citizen’s papers for America’s dinner table!” Then there is the hollow wooden horse ban. The people in the collar grottoes of Troy, New York, have risen to the sur- face as one man and_ protested nst the importing of hollow wooden horses of the type of 2. Again and yc ccucrea Om Woosue: they have granted permission to MARYLAND. CAUSED BY strangers to park a hollow 3 Pconsrantey Listening wooden horse inside the city AT KEYHOLES. walls. Then, in the dead of night, a door in the horse's Awan Omega aie stomach opens, 300 valid Armeni- UP-SIDE-DowN MAN A OF IPSWICH, FENCES, ans issue forth, and before you Plays BASEBALL AND can scramble into your pajamas, “TENNIS | AND EVEN they have captured the city, wie stolen the sheep, and eaten the : covenants out of the plum cake. “What good is plum cake with- out nt ery the Trojans, “Down with the swarthy Arine- noid invader thundering at our gates 1 o when Article 31 of ¢ — the Hirschberg-Snedeker tariff OF Lecevio Priva OF vater vattey muss. goes into effect, Troy ‘will he WAS SHOT “TWICE WITH “THE SAME CAN- - NON GALL AT “THE BATTLE OF BuiL persona no grotto and nobody RUN. THE BALL PASSED ROUGH HIS home to the wooden equines. CHEST, Tie The most important change of AND FOUR WOODEN LEGS sBOUNde vt Acie As D FUT HORATIO Ne all, however, is Article 39. There BELONGING 1G HEBER ve He SIE NE WAS ONHUITT AND Dm are today in Holland over 45,000 WOOSUK OF AGRA ADAB 77s IN NOVEMGER. MR. PFIT2 ConDUCTS A boys stuffing leaks in the dike RA, PUCHIGAN, ales CLASS IN EHGREDERY IN THE VaTER- with their index finger. Every ral VALLEY YOUNG LADIES’ SemiNARy year thousands of new boys pour in looking for ks to stuff and boys entering Holland be chop- Schreiber” and stowed away in it has kept the Dutch engineers ped up with parsley, mohair, and transatlantic airplanes. In_ this worn to a mere Bramwell boring — hard-boiled egg and used in y a substantial profit will be holes for them. Article 39 pro- overstuffed armchairs. The other lized. vides that one-half of all new half will be christened ‘Arthur The only other thing new to- day is this matter of the catch on the bathroom door. I bet I have spoken to Mr. Baumgarten a hundred times about it, but does he do anythi No. Before I got through taking my bath yes- terday I counted 46 people in the room, not including three Prussian ublans. This has got to stop. So take note, Prussian ublans: If bathe you must, please leave your horses in the foyer with the checkroom girl. How would you like to reach for the soap and find yourself nestling in a horse’s armpi I warn you, if this happens again, you and I are all washed up. “Don’t you use a pneumatic float?” Yours very coolly, “No, Arthur’s with me.” Thyra movar Perelman.