Judge — August 10, 1929 — page 18: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE edd IU GING te SHOW Ge s I sit here on the deck of an ocean liner, with a A steward galloping to fetch me another demi- john of Pilsner and with the cool breezes blowing through my whiskers, I conclude that the best show in the world remains still to be produced in a theatre and that it won't be produced in a theatre until they figure out some way to get a trans-Atlantic steamer, kit and caboodle, into the On one of these boats you can see such a performance as puts to shame the best ever offered in the playhouses, which fact almost every white person has now known for at least fifteen years—so, out of respect for my nose for news, I'll address myself today to my -olored constituency. he ordinarily reputable, well-behaved and_ in- telligent man, once he shoes and buys himself to be metamorphosed into a combination of Joe Cook and Daddy Browning. Where, on land, he would no more think of skipping the rope or winking at stray sweet ones than he'd think of handing his wife a pretty one on the proboscis, a steamer promptly gets in its dirty work on him and, no sooner the Statue of Liberty is behind him, he begins to cut up like a Bad Boy. When he isn’t making a fool of himself doing athletic tricks up on the poop deck, he is making an even bigger fool of himself acting the Lothario to female promenaders who get stomach-ache snickering internally at him. And when he isn’t talking learnedly to one of the ship's officers about jib-booms, fo'e’sle mizzen-masts, triple- screw life-belts, topsail turbines and other such mari- time esoterica, to the aforesaid officer’: he is either getting himself expansively orie-e the smoking-room or getting a dreadful pain in the seat from bouncing himself up and down, in the name of health, on the electric horse up in the gyt If you want to lay cyes on a de luxe comedian, cts on a steame pipe, app take a look at any one of dozens such goats on any ocean liner of more than ten tons weight. You wiil be entertained, I promise you. You will observe monkeyshines the like of which you haven't seen since Frank Daniels assidul sly lost his breeches in abs Wizard of the As I sit here in my ir, with the proficient steward scooting after demijohn No, 3, I watch two sp of Toledo, Ohio, manhood, at home surely upright mem- bers of the community, having A Time. They have contrived, after much difficulty, to make themselves known to a couple of girls and are already regaling the babies with presumably rib-busting stories about Scotchmen. The girls, casting doubtful glances at cach other, vouchsafe them the necessary strained cackles and the gents, congratulating themselves upon their invincible wit, are making moves to get more cozy. One puts his arm through that of his lady-friend; the other, less self-confident, contents himself with patting his choice’s mitt. “You're sure my type!", exclaims the first Toledo Cazanova to his girl. “Yeah, and you're sure mine, too!” echoes the second to his. There is loud giggling on the part of the fair ones. you boys behave!” they smirk, whereupon the boys, as the word is, let out a and rejoin, “Did you say behav whereupon in turn the fair ones almost bust with laughing. Nearby, I discern another gent. He is attired in what mathematically must be plus-eights; he has a pipe in his mouth that looks like a briar pretzel; and he fondly hopes to be mistaken for an English- man. Since, however, nobody seems to be interested in whether he is an Englishman or a Senegamt he is determined to get friendly in one directi another and, to that end, sidles up to the quartette and observes that it is a pretty hot day. In (Continued on page 28) or beehi Theatre Digest “Sweet Scene” (Playhouse) — The Puliteer prise award this year has some sense to it. “Hold Everything” (Broadburst)—The tunes are now being played everywhere. But go around and see the proficient hoofing. St.) Miriam Hop mild comedy from the Crechoslovakian, “Broadway Nights” (44th St.)—A very commonplace revue wherein the audience “The Little Show” (Music Box) — A £i¥en an opportunity to burl tennis modest revue with a lot of bu:mor is it. balls at Dr, Rockwell. “Bird in Hand” (Morceco)—\ genuine- “A Might in Venice” (Shubert) —It is ly amaring comedy that will Lowen your enlivened periodically by ics of rite. Tom Healy and bis brother tasi “Let Us Be Gay” (Little)—A comedy by La Crothers that is better than the average. It is also ably acted. “Felliaw Thru” (46th Street) — Irene Delroy and some gay tunes to whistle. “Journey's End” (Miller) — Even than the mijority of musical comedies though you may be fed up on the late somone et ais id war, this play will interest you. “Brothers” (48th Street)—Very sour. “4 Longacre) — Bet “Het Chocolates” (Hudson)—The M. Women” ( than “My Girt Friday tok ot that's oct Coanin, who rane a cabaret in Smoke- paying aayibing. tows, is the impresario, “Bheteh Book (Earl Carroll)—Nodes and risque humor for the out-of-town trade. “Show Girt” (Ziegfeld) — Clayton, Jackson and Durante are in this one. “The New Mesa” (Imperial) —Better PBC aE ee comicbooks.com