Judge, 1929-08-03 · page 5 of 40
Judge — August 3, 1929 — page 5: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Page Analysis: Judge Magazine Satirical Content This page contains three separate satirical pieces targeting early 20th-century social issues: 1. **"Helping Hands"**: A dialogue mocking financial advice to someone who lost money in the stock market. The joke criticizes how wealthy people casually suggest the poor gamble or take risks, treating serious financial losses flippantly. 2. **"Please, Daddy, Don't Go Out Tonight!"**: A cartoon showing a father with children, satirizing men's habits of frequenting nightlife establishments while neglecting family. The caption references vaudeville performers (Updyke, Overdale, etc.), suggesting commentary on entertainment-district culture. 3. **"Shirt Toll" and other brief items**: Short observations about laundry costs, traffic holdup men, and dancing etiquette—minor social commentary on daily frustrations and changing social customs. The overall tone ridicules wealthy indifference and critiques contemporary urban social behaviors.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
“Helping Hands” After the Margin Is Wiped Out. “Well, maybe it will teach you a lesson. Lots smarter men than you have been cleaned out try to beat the market, you know. “You've still got your house, haven't you? I'd say you were lucky, then—look at’ what hap- pened to that chap Morey last month,” “You might just as well take your chances with a pair of crap dice ay fool around in the strect with the little you've got.” “Say, anybody but a nincom- poop would have known better than to buy on a thin margin. You want to watch out somebody docsn’t sell you a seat ona park bench, heh, Joe?” “Well, I figure it this way: it’s just plain gambling. And_ you knew that before you went into it. If you've learned enough to keep away in the future, I'd say that that trip to Europe was well lost!" “Why, say, don’t you ever take anybody's advice?" Read) what Mellon’ says about stock trading in the newspaper. Yeah, Mor- gan, too, and John D, Those guys didn’t get their electric re- frigerators foolin’ with — their savings on the curb!" Stantey Jones JUDGE Please, Daddy, Don’t Go Out Tonight! Beaged the Gunman’s Children Messrs. Updyke, Overdale, Underhill, and Adam will now throw a tableau illustrating the difference between and sourbreads. “You've been having your hair cut?” yelled a boss plumber. “Get this, palooka: you can't have your hair cut on my tim tice. “Didn't it grow on your time?” Pick up the megaphone, Rudy Henley, and give them “I’m Just a Vagabom Cartoonist”. threads “Why not?” retorted Jake Valjean, his appren- Shirt Toll Our laundry’s fee for doing a shirt is two bits, one of them from the shirt. Believe it or not, when traffic is halted because the motorist up front won't move even though there is no red light, it's prob- ably because he is waiting for a street car. There are a lot of holdup men on the road these days. We mean the kind that drive cars and hold up traffic. He who hesitates is an old- “The snake-charmer finds a way to keep her husband home nights.” fashioned dancer.