Judge — April 19, 1930 — page 34: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Save the Serpents and You Save All (Continued from page 8) out of New Haven. One man I know hired George Bancroft to bombard his window with a fusillade of ma- ch gun shots, but it turned out the visitor was sleeping in the stable. Not only t but he had skilfully sub- stituted his host's best horse in bed. To top everything off, the hostess, who had gone to give the horse a glass of hot milk and a sandwich before retir- ing, caught a bad head-cold sneaking out of the stable. All in all, the snake routine is much the best, and even if you don’t want to lay out money for new reptiles, that viper you've been nourishing in your bosom will turn the trick just as well. He'll be ready for anything after living around you, you heel, guest If They Lived Today Cleopatra would take an aspirin in- stead of an asp. Queen Isabella would tour America and endorse everything. Helen of Troy could go to Paris for her clothes without criticism, Ophelia would shoot Hamlet and then claim she was crazy about him. Lady Godiva would have her hair bobbed and ride in the rumble-seat! —Paturinner Jack, how the “Fine, Tom, you old * , fhe 28 — playzwright too, eh?” A negro was asked to supply a tame turkey. The customer was insistent that it should be tame, and not wild. When he came to carve the turkey he found it full of shot, and he re proached the negro for having sup- plied a wild bird. “In stric’ the negro, for m confidence,” explained “dem shots was intended , not de turkey !” —Trr-Birs Fatner—Of course you want to go to the circus, Wilbur, and it’s my duty to see that you don’t miss it! * IS % S00 (are you?” s—S so you've become a High Hat (Continued from page 23) pot. Then get a good look at your waiter. Write down what you imagine his first name might be. At checktime ask him outright, and the one who has guessed correctly gets the kitty. In case of no one getting it at all, the name that comes closest will have to serve. Here are favorites that waiters’ mamas christen them in’ the vs every man still has a chance to ome President: Sparky, George. Guido, Henri, Bronson and Gus. How ever, it'll probably turn out to. bv Louie. Mac was thrown out of a j nt so long ago because he guessed the waiter’s name to be Ethel! some Best Steppers Happy & Sweetheart Trail— Yallace—Ce ide of the Street— Ted Wallace—Columbia. Thank Your Father & Good for You, Bad for Me—Knickerbockers— Columbia. Just Can't Be Bothered—Shilkret— Victor. Cinderella Brown & Sing, You Sin ners—Charleston Chasers—Columbia. Hand Me Down My Walking Canc —Tremaine—Columbia, Looking at You & Let Me I'm Happy — Wa Victor. With You & Puttin’ on the Ritz— Webster—Okeh. Sing and g's Penns.— comicbooks.com